dan howell liked space, and in phil's eyes he saw galaxies. phil lester liked nature, maybe dan could paint him flowers. [spaceboy!dan x plantboy!phil]

he was a blank canvas and words could flow out of him effortlessly, there was never a stutter or a stop. he was a sky of colour, a mess of words tumble out of his mouth, messy and faint. *this fanfic contains drinking, abuse, and mention(s) of suicide. if there are any specific trigger warnings, send a DM please!

- dan always hated the idea of secret admirers. - that is, until phil came along. [punk!phil x pastel!dan] ::::

When so much damage has been done, is it possible to recover and get better?

"People are always so much more complex then you think, but you'll never get a chance to find that out if you keeping walking with your head down." * Phil is a musical prodigy. Dan is still figuring himself out. Neither of them have anyone to talk to, so a simple tutoring gig quickly turns into something more meaningful. And while they both might be terrified of that change, it's kind of hard to avoid it when they can see directly into each other's bedroom windows.

Dan Howell was the typical spoiled, rich boy with butlers driving him to operas and maids making him nachos for breakfast. Phil Lester, however, was the opposite. Barely any money and deadbeat parents, he lives in a bad neighborhood in a gross apartment with cat hair covering the carpet and an odd roommate. And then Dan's parents decide he needs to love someone rather than himself, and when Phil shows up at his mansion steps, Dan's parents grow fond of him- so much that the two are exchanging rings and Phil is moving in with his new spouse. They tell Dan he should give it a few months, to be patient, and if he still doesn't like him then they'll sign the divorce papers and call it quits. Marriage isn't perfect, right? Well this one is the exact example. But they could always pretend.

Dan is different. He's learned to accept that. Well, as best he can anyway, considering he's never really had much of a choice. It's been this way for as long as he can remember, the constant runaround process of trying to feel normal. His life is built around it, trying to trick both himself and everyone he interacts with into seeing him as your average person. The isolation as he desperately tries to keep others from finding out, the bitterness that wells up inside of him each and every time he's reminded that he'll never be like everyone else, the fear that nothing will ever change. He's fated to be this way forever; a misfit from society. Isolation can only go so far though, so when he's struggling to make ends meet and he's faced with the option of looking into a serious job or taking on a roommate, he opts for what seems like the easier option at the time. It doesn't seem so easy ten failed roommates into the process, or when he sits down at a table to meet with prospect number eleven and ends up with a coffee spilled all over his lap. Potential roommate number eleven, Phil, turns out to be an insufferable optimistic ball of sunshine that Dan wants nothing to do with. His options are running out though, as are the savings he's been using to pay his rent, so he finds himself begrudgingly agreeing to let the other man move in. Neither of them have any way of knowing just what they've gotten themselves into as they shake on the matter, but time will tell.

to: phil from: unknown caller your eyes as blue and as vast as the seas darling please won't you notice me? x secret admirer -lower case intended -holy shi t sorry this goes like really unrealistically fucking fast -whoops

when i am sad, oh god im sad