I am Jesus, your savior. After dealing with all the shit I do for your race, I come across this... fan fiction. I am greatly disturbed on why you read this. I am constantly wondering who larry is and why he is so important, or the cat named Phan who always seems to appear? Who are these people... They are the DEVIL SPAWN. I have looked through your window while you read this stuff (say is my description. Go hit that follow button with the bible why dontcha') and I am not impressed. That's why I leave comments on this 'smut' you read to make sure you don't go as far as the level 'you unholy shits turn back now or you go to hell'. So fear not. Read my guide book and embark on your journey to a more holy life style. (496in Fan Fiction)

Welcome to your religious recovery! This book holds all of the new and updated ways to overcome the urge to read fan fiction! As J3sus Chr1st, I can say reading this shit does not help you reserve a spot in heaven.

Phil Lester is sweet and cute; known for his kindness and enthusiasm. Dan Howell is a tough, cold outsider; known as the school's stereotypical 'bad boy'. But if he's so bad, then why on earth did he rescue Phil Lester and give him a smile which would melt anyone's heart?

Forced to share his bed with an attractive stranger, Ash Jamieson suddenly finds himself confronted with feelings he thought he'd repressed. ***** Riddled with adolescent angst, lavished with profanity, and adorned with more cheese than your favourite take-out pizza, Top and Tail chronicles the life of Ash Jamieson as he haphazardly navigates his way through malicious schoolmates, whackjob teachers, disillusioned parents, imbecilic athletes, audacious girls, and of course, his most pressing problem: the subdued pretty-boy that has suddenly invaded every aspect of his life. Being a teenager is hard, ok? ***** Top and Tail is posted exclusively on Wattpad! If you're reading this elsewhere, you're reading an unedited, stolen version where illegal sites profit off my work :( The official version is FREE to read at it's home on Wattpad! [Featured in Teen Fiction 2016] [Completed 2011]