"I don't get it! Why do you keep doing this to me?!" His words were wrapped in molten lava, hands in his hair, eyes closed tight. My heart hammered at my ribcage. I knew where this was going. "You pull me in, then you push me the hell away!" He shook his head at me in disgust. I felt a piece of me break at every disappointed word he'd said, the panic was rising through every crevice of my body. "I'm done Al, I can't keep playing this game with you. I can't keep picking up the casualties on my own. I am tired, I'm just tired of trying to make you love me." He let out in defeat and waited for my response. Alarms started going off in my head but all I could do was look down in shame. When I didn't say anything, he looked at me a moment longer and turned to walk away. Everything in me was screaming at him to stay but no sound would come out of my mouth. He was walking at such a slow pace I knew he wanted me to call him back. But as I opened my mouth to scream his name, I remembered something Amirah had told me a few weeks ago. "Allah sends you signs to show you that someone isn't good for you and when you still don't let go, he makes them hurt you so that you have no choice but to" I wasn't good for him so I let him go. _____________ This is Alanna's story. It combines the tragedies of her past, the trials of the present and what ties them together. Buckle up because this is one hell of a story.

Maydah Ahmad was never a normal girl. Ever since she was a young girl, it was clear to tell she was made for something bigger, something better.. But than her mother died, leaving Maydah and her father to cope on their own. After that her life was never the same. Albeit all the obstacles that stood in her way, and without a mother to explain it to her, Maydah still made her decision to wear a hijab (headgear) and faced the difficulties of bullies all on her own. Mysteries after mysteries began to unfold right before her eyes, and her already complicated life twisted into real life nightmare, and so she let the world know of her journey through her journal of a teenage Muslim. Join Maydah as she battles her way through her teenage years, and may finally find victory in all that she believed.

Growing up in the west is anything but easy for the teenage Muslim Ameerah Hasaan where she is constantly questioned and bullied because of her hijab (headscarf) by her peers and neighborhood acquaintances. And if that is not enough, Ameerah is confused by her parents controversial views on the hijab, her mom Aidah strongly believes in the importance of the hijab and that it protects the Muslim girls, however, Ameerah's dad although he grew up in a very conservative Lebanese society, fails to see the importance and benefits of the hijab and advises his daughter to take it off so that a burden will be lifted off Ameerah's back. Can Ameerah wear her hijab?