Sick of cliché Wattpad books? Then this isn't the book for you. We take every single over-used plot, character and trope on Wattpad - from player-meets-nerd to my-boyfriend-is-a-vampire - and mash it all into one, awful, hilarious parody. NOTE: This is a parody. Characters have not been created to mock a race/nationality/sexuality, they have been created to lightly poke fun at the way certain teen fiction writers reduce them into crude stereotypes. Thanks for helping this pile of junk get to #1 in Humor!

Who knew what could be made out of annoying calls, anonymous texts, and a little bit of chemistry? -highest rank #8 in short story -contains some mature content -completed but unedtited

❝I- what? What are you talking about? Who is this?❞ ❝Well the bathroom stall says that this number is the gateway to a good time, and unless you're trying to say that a bathroom stall is lying to me, I think I need a little more information to be sold. Do you have like a yelp page I could look up? Past customer reviews? How many stars out of five?❞ ❝What are yo- oh my god, I'm going to fucking kill Marie.❞ (alternatively called: a lot of people shit with pens) written in dialogue // cover by xhemmingshugsx

Forced to share his bed with an attractive stranger, Ash Jamieson suddenly finds himself confronted with feelings he thought he'd repressed. ***** Riddled with adolescent angst, lavished with profanity, and adorned with more cheese than your favourite take-out pizza, Top and Tail chronicles the life of Ash Jamieson as he haphazardly navigates his way through malicious schoolmates, whackjob teachers, disillusioned parents, imbecilic athletes, audacious girls, and of course, his most pressing problem: the subdued pretty-boy that has suddenly invaded every aspect of his life. Being a teenager is hard, ok? ***** Top and Tail is posted exclusively on Wattpad! If you're reading this elsewhere, you're reading an unedited, stolen version where illegal sites profit off my work :( The official version is FREE to read at it's home on Wattpad! [Featured in Teen Fiction 2016] [Completed 2011]