«Don't apologize to me. Ask yourself why the fuck you did this.» Dean looked up at him, and this time, he didn't smile. The others in the room held their breath; Tucker's eyes widened, and Logan was livid. Garrett was relieved by those words, even if he wasn't sure how the blond would react. But Dean said nothing. He just looked at him with a hollow gaze because he had no response. He had no answer that didn't scream Beau. Beau. It's because of Beau. It's always been Beau. "Beau" Dean thought. Dean is grieving. He can't come to terms with the loss of his best friend, his brother. He is spiraling further into self-destruction, and the boys are forced to watch helplessly, unable to do something for him. One night, after a game, Dean is in such a bad state physically and emotionally that the team decide they can no longer just watch and do nothing; they step up to care for their brother in a way they failed to do for Beau.

Liam stringe le palpebre, serra la mandibola, piega il collo all'indietro. Mille maledizioni gli si rincorrono sulla punta della lingua, gli formicolano contro il palato, graffiano, minacciano di schiudergli la bocca e strisciare fuori senza il suo consenso. Lui si trattiene. Non vuole svegliarlo.

[contains anxiety triggers] "because fuck, maybe i love you or maybe you're just another stupid crush."

«Pope was different. Pope was anxiety and calm at the same time, he was intelligent remarks and stolen looks, he was whispered words and shouted excuses, he was attentive eyes and gentle touches. Pope was a different story. He always has been.» 7000+ words

/COMPLETA/ Circa un anno dopo la vittoria, Filippo torna a fare i conti con la vita che ha lasciato indietro. Ma questa volta non è solo. L'amore -a tratti disperato, frustrante ed impossibile- tra Einar e Filippo troverà modo di sopravvivere a tutto questo? _______________ "Mi stai lasciando? Einar! Cazzo. Rispondimi: mi stai lasciando?" "Non ne posso più! Non ne posso più di tutto questo! Non posso più fare niente per salvarti, niente, Filippo, lo capisci? Cazzo! Ho le mani legate se tu non ti lasci aiutare. ______________ "Fil." Ancora un attimo di silenzio. Silenzio che rimbomba dal rumore che fa. Poi una strana luce nel cuore. "Ti amo più della mia stessa vita."