"'I miss you.' 'What do you mean? I'm right here.' He shook his head. 'No, I mean I miss seeing you. I miss your smile. Seeing you smile made me so happy. I'm still so upset that I'll never see it again.' I breathed in, a bit shaky. 'You've just got to remember that if I'm with you, I'm always smiling, okay?' 'I still miss seeing you. If I could have just one opportunity to be able to see again, even just for a moment, I would spend my time just watching you smile. That's all I would want....'" After a horrible accident, Phil loses his sight and goes completely blind. Dan's help has been amazing to get him through it, but Dan can't help falling in love with his best friend - now in daily need of his care and attention. This story is about love and trust, and how two friends - much more than friends - overcome the odds of a disability, and how they realize that no matter how difficult it gets, they will always have each other. (Warnings: none! :D Fluffy, a little dash of angst, looong)

phan // in which two boys who are definitely toxic for each other decide to not care

Summary: Dan draws, Phil doesn't. Phil wears black shirts, speaks loudly, and glares at everyone. Dan wears grey jumpers, doesn't talk, and tries to stay invisible. Phil's reckless, Dan's not. This is as story about two polar opposites who mange to have a string of first times together, and maybe even a cute love story. Because unexpected things always happen, when you try to keep someone at arms length. Rating/Warnings: Mature Readers (READ AT OWN RISK). This story may contain topics of depression, cutting, anxiety, panic attacks, assault, gay slurs, and minor sexual content. If any of the listed content triggers you, please do not read. Please do not copy and post my story anywhere else or create an "adaptation" of my work. Thank you. Copyright © 2013. strawb3rryvib3s All Rights Reserved.

phan // sugar and smoke rings, i've been a fool

[complete] what happens at camp, stays at camp ; copyright © 2016

Dan is a dancer, but it's his best kept secret. Moving to a new college results in new friends, new hobbies and a new outlook in life; but what does it really mean to be human? A series of strange and seemingly unconnected events unfold that all seem to link back to Dan's mysterious new boyfriend. etcetc phan with kickthestickz This story carries some warnings, however they're p much all spoilers except non-graphic violence and injury on one occasion, and non-described minor character death. No major character death and no self harm. Please message me if you think you'll need to know the TWs! To avoid spoilers, you can give me a list of things you don't want to read for whatever reason and I'll let you know if they're in the fic or not :)

Dan has given up on ever being happy. Life has lost its meaning, and everything he seems to do causes some form of destruction, and Dan is so tired of destroying the things he used to love. He's lost so much, and he's scared of losing Phil, the only thing he can bring himself to care about. But Dan can't see past his own depression that Phil is struggling with bulimia, and that he's equally good at hiding his dark thoughts as Dan. And as Dan walks through the streets alone at night getting high to escape from the hell he's trapped himself in, will he be able to see that maybe the happiness he craves so desperately is not on the streets in the form of white pills, but inside his own apartment in the form of Phil Lester? Or will it be too late... WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE, SEXUAL SITUATIONS, USE OF DRUGS, VIOLENCE, HIGH LEVELS OF ANGST, BULIMIA, AND THEMES OF SUICIDE. IT IS NOT SUITABLE FOR YOUNGER READERS.

COMPLETE : Phil moves to England, to study at a school after a massive argument with his family.- trigger warnings; cutting, sucide references and attempts.

{P h a n : C o m p l e t e d} "Help Me" trigger warning : suicide, self-harm

"we spend all this time waiting for tomorrow, yet it never arrives." the story of a boy who writes to his insecurities. the story of another who saves him. {phan} {lowercase intentional} {trigger warning: depression, implied self-harm/mentions of suicide}