Like any other teenager, I wanted a damn break from school. Well, a murder on campus gave me that break. Sadly (for me, mostly) the murder had to do with my new... "friend": a homicidal, obsessive, cunning, and possessive stalker with an irritating sense of humor. How did I stumble onto the stalker of all stalkers? no. damn. clue. What I do know is that they text me obsessively, kill people around me, and threaten my friends and family if I throw away my phone or tell the cops. Well, they cover the categories of insane, murderous, and annoying, so I'm already screwed. But that doesn't mean I'm going down without a fight.

Getting bitten by a vampire is something, but getting bitten by five hot vampire celebrities is something else. Amberia Purt is a 17 year old American Directioner. Just like every other directioner, she dreams to meet the five knights in shining armor of her life. Who could know taking a short bathroom break could change your life? *Dramatic gasp* This story should be categorized as vampire, werewolves, fan-fiction, teen-fiction, adventure, fantasy, humor, mystery/thriller, paranormal, & romance, but unfortunately, they only allow each story to be put in only 2 categories. [This story is UNEDITED, so please don't complain about errors, plot-holes, and etc. WARNING: It's also BATSHIT CRAZY HAHAHAHAHA.] [X] This is the ONE & ONLY One Direction Bit Me. I've seen so many imitations after this fanfic, and I want you all to know that this is the ORIGINAL. Thank you! :) -This story is completely HUMOROUS, so stop taking it so seriously.-