"Hello, thank yo-" "Yeah, yeah cut the crap. I'd like to order a large pepperoni pizza with extra cheese and garlic bread on the side." "Uh, ma'am.. We don't sell pizzas." "What are you talking about?" "You called the Taco House. We sell tacos." "...WHAT IS IT GRANDMA? YOU DROPPED YOUR TEETH IN THE TOILET AGAIN? Well, it seems like I've got an emergency to attend. Gotta go!" cover made by the lovely @write0013

bal-co-nee-al ; of or referring to a balcony \\ in which a cynical girl and a disastrously (self-characterized) aromantic psychology student have daily discussions between neighbouring balconies \\ #1 in short story june & july 2k15 \\ book 1

❝i've seen you around here a lot.❞ ❝i know this is the best starbucks around.❞ ❝aren't all starbucks the same?❞ ❝no other starbucks has a girl like you.❞ -- just a pinch of love #3 -- #118 in Humor (3.12.15)

❝Hello, this is the Starb-❞ ❝HEEELP ME!! PLEASE! THERE'S A MURDERER IN MY HOUSE!❞ ❝OH SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!! WHAT DO I DO?! THIS IS STARBUCKS, NOT FREAKING 911. WAIT, HOLD ON. TRY TO KEEP YOURSELF ALIVE, I'LL CALL 911!! STAY CALM. IT'S GOING TO BE O- ❞ ❝Wait...did you just say Starbucks?❞ ❝Um...yeah?❞ ❝They have a hotline?❞ ---- fun conversations between two Potterheads over the Starbucks hotline. [highest rank: #6 in short story] [highest rank: #2 in short story 5/6/17]

❝hey, sweet cheeks❞ ❝do i know you?❞ ❝damn, i'm offended after all we have been through❞ ❝wrong number?❞ ❝try stolen number, babe❞ in which a boy steals a girl's number from his friends phone. ________________________________ highest ranking: #eleven in short story lowercase intended

One accidental phone call between two teenagers, and they find themselves not being able to stop talking to each other. Could one wrong call, help them find the right one? {highest rank - #1 in short story as of 12th June, 2016} cover by - @crookednights

1 night shift worker + 1 insomniac + 1 accidental call = an unlikely friendship

This is a story in which a boy phones a girl... 'Hello welcome to Lonely Line, Adelaide speaking. How may I be of your assistance?' 'I have a very important question Adelaide...' 'Ask away stranger' 'What should I call my dog?' 'riceball, no questions asked just call it rice ball.' 'Well that's different.' Highest achievement: #26 in Short Story (11.03.17) { completed } ( editing from 17.04.17 )

[sequel to teen helpline] ❝Hello, this is the Breakup Helpline, designed and manufactured to cater to your brokenhearted needs. How may I help you?❞ ❝My girlfriend...just cheated on me. With my best friend.❞ ❝Um..uh, hold on...oh, fuck! There's nothing on how to respond to that in these answer sheets!❞ ___________________________________________________________________ When happy-go-lucky Theo Hastings discovers his best friend has been fucking his girlfriend behind his back for the last six months, Theo's whole life has been careening on the rocks- until his cousin, Damien Carson, forces him to look for help on a helpline- a particular helpline call the 'Breakup Helpline' and there he meets sarcastic, cynical realist Serena Adams, who doesn't believe in love at all. And maybe, just maybe, Theo can change her mind. this is a tale about the hopeless romantic and the skeptical non-believer, the idealistic sentimentalist and the bitter soul, and how fate brings them together.

"Quick Clean Laundry! When it's dirty we make it clean, this is Melissa speaking." "uh...." "Hello?.." "I asked a cute girl her number and this is what she gave me" #3 in Short Story [8/1/16] Book One From Texts and Calls Series © Copyrights Reserved