CURRENTLY BEING RE-WRITTEN AS PART OF THE "HOW NOT TO VAMPIRE" SERIES) It's the week from Hell as Bob tries to save his ex-girlfriend Jaime from certain death... by turning her into a vampire. Needless to say, she doesn't quite agree with this plan and what follows is an epic journey in the making as Bob and Jaime try to track down the one vampire who might know how to turn Jaime back into a human. Oh yeah, and Bob's sometime-stalker-ex-girlfriend Beatrice is trying to kill them. Book 1: SO I MIGHT BE A VAMPIRE Book 2: SO I'M A VAMPIRE... NOW WHAT? Book 3: SO YOU USED TO BE HUMAN Book 4: SO YOU WANT TO KILL A VAMPIRE (now in drafts to return in Fall 2019?) Wattpad original: SO YOU MIGHT BE A VAMPIRE (799K reads, featured, #2 in Humor) ########## This was originally Book 2 of the series, but it's now Book 3 since SO I'M A VAMPIRE... NOW WHAT has been created to be Book 2. We've done a bit of editing and SO YOU MIGHT BE A VAMPIRE is now two books instead of one. Unfortunately, this means that Book 3 (this one) is finished before Book 2. So if you;re confused, sorry. If you're willing to wait a year and read the new book 2 first as it comes out on Wattled, then kudos to you, but to be honest, this book is awesome, so go ahead and read it now. Or not. Entirely up to you. Hilarity? Hell yes. Vulgar humour and excessive use of all examples of vulgar language that Bob can think up? You got it!

CURRENTLY BEING REWITTEN IN THE "HOW NOW TO VAMPIRE" SERIES Everybody thinks they know what happened at the Hotel Astoria. They're so, so wrong... I'm Bob, and I'm a vampire. I could lie and tell you that I'm a bonafide seventh-level badass vampire of the highest order, but then this would be a completely different story. What I want is for you to think of this as more of an "instructional manual" on how *not* to be a badass vampire. That kind of badassery takes training and a level of dedication that's just not my style, you know what I mean? If you do want to know how to piss off the nearest city of vampires (totally my fault), get the vampire Federali on your ass (me again), and be declared Vampire Enemy #1, then I'm just the guy you're looking for. Oh yeah, I'm also kinda-sorta-maybe-definitely dating my sworn enemy and she still might be looking to kill me at any moment, but I'm not taking responsibility for that hot mess. And I do mean hot in all of the wrong ways. If you want to know about the Hotel Astoria, then skip right to the end, but if you want to know the other stuff... well, settle in. BOOK 2 of CHASING THE SUN SERIES sequel to SO I MIGHT BE A VAMPIRE

Bob has got to be the worst vampire in the world. Without a guide to learn how to be a good vampire, he's making it up as he goes along... while holding down a day job. [Previously Featured #2 Vampire ] ***** Everything I'm about to tell you is a lie. Well, except the parts that actually happened, but I'm supposed to let you guess which those are. The parts about me being a vampire, working at a porn shop, and being completely clueless about vampires, those are completely true. Oh, the parts about Claude, my best friend for life, being a gentleman thief? All true. This is NOT a misguided and sordid tell-all about being a modern-day vampire. (wink wink) My vampire club for accidental vampires, Friends of Vlad does not exist. Neither do vampires like the terrifying and beautiful Beatrice. There is no big bad vampire boss named Harry pushing vampires into the 21st Century. Also nope about the vampire club in the heart of Toronto and a big nope on Madame Vera's House of the Not-so-dead. I'm just an ordinary guy who became a vampire. Nothing unusual about that. Nothing at all... [BOOK ONE of CHASING THE SUN SERIES] REVIEWS: @DavidJThirteen Humour has to be one of the toughest genres to get right. This book really pulls it off. Thank you for an enjoyable, entertaining read! @SharylFriend This was awesome beyond mere words!!! Should be a BESTSELLER! @Signed_Sealed_96 This has been by far the best and funniest book I've read. I love this and I can't wait to tell my friends about this b'%&hing vampire story I read nonstop.

This is the original, unedited version of Light as a Feather, Book #1. This book was the inspiration for the Hulu Original Series. The revised version is now available in bookstores throughout the USA & Canada from Simon Pulse. McKenna Brady thinks her junior year of high school is going to be the best ever when she's welcomed into the elite group of popular girls at Weeping Willow High School led by blonde, gorgeous Olivia Richmond. Prior to junior year, McKenna was known in her small town as the girl whose twin sister died in a tragic house fire, and she's overjoyed at the prospect of redefining her identity. She has a date to the Homecoming dance with Olivia's handsome older brother, and a good chance of being elected to student council. For the first time since McKenna's parents divorced, things are looking up. But everything changes the night of Olivia's Sweet Sixteen sleepover birthday party. Violet, the shy, mysterious new girl in town, suggests that the girls play a scary game called Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board, during which Violet makes up elaborate stories about the future ways in which beautiful Olivia, brassy Candace, and athletic Mischa will die. The game unsettles McKenna because she's already escaped death once in her life, but she doesn't want to ruin her friends' fun. It's only a game, she reminds herself.

This is Book 3 in the Light as a Feather series. Book 1: Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board (available on Amazon & iTunes) Book 2: Light as a Feather, Cold as Marble I would like to extend a giant THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart to all of you who've stuck with these books over the last 3 years.

This is the sequel to Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board, the first book in the Weeping Willow High School series.

If you're judging this book by its cover and title, you're already proving the point this story wants to make. Try to move past this satirical obstacle in front of you. This is a story about bullying, and like the hundreds of other books on the topic, it will show you the harsh reality of being discriminated, belittled, ridiculed for something you cannot control- how you look, who you love, or what you believe in. But unlike these books, this story's sole purpose is not to tear your heart out of your chest as you mourn over your loss of faith in humanity. Instead, this book will make you laugh and love alongside these characters. Just like in life, there will be moments of dread and surrender, but there will also be moments of happiness, laughter, and love. - Naomi Lorraine, better known as Nerdy Naomi with her thick-rimmed glasses and straight-A report card, is the most unpopular girl in her school. Even with the help of her sarcastic comebacks, that doesn't stop her from getting bullied by everyone in Dartwell High. Every day her childhood bully, Raymond Meyers, knocks her off her feet, literally. However, she can't do anything but survive the laughs, insults, and bruises high school gives her. There are three senior transfer students, dubbed the Three Musketeers: Bennett Frazier, Jordan Wallace, and Declan Lynch. All in one day, Naomi catches their attention one by one. With her snarky attitude, but innocent look, they can't help but want her. But not the way you're thinking. Oh no, not like that. Instead, it's probably the whole opposite. It's quite simple really. She'll be their good girl. And they'll be her bad boys. ~ [This story is a first draft written by a 13 to 15-year-old girl so it has its fair share of grammar mistakes and plot holes.] Wattys 2015 Talk of the Town Award Second Place Story of 2015 Best Humor and Overall Points of The Fiction Awards 2016 Third in the Writers Awards 2016 Highest Ranks: #1 Humor, #1 Teen Fiction

Book Two of TGGBB Series Naomi Lorraine, who used to be or still known as Nerdy Naomi, looks forward in her thick rimmed glasses to a life without the fear of being bullied. She no longer has to take up the laughs, insults, and bruises high school once gave her, at least she hopes not as much. With her bullies finally realizing there's no point to dedicating their lives to make one person miserable, Naomi thinks she can live out the rest of her life normally. That is until her childhood friend, Dominic, crashes back into her life, throwing out that hope of having a normal life- Not like she had one in the beginning. That is because she has the Three Musketeers -Bennett Frazier, Jordan Wallace, and Declan Lynch- by her side. Together, they faced the adventures life threw at them and would have never thought that anything, or anyone, could break them. Oh, but don't worry. Really, you're overthinking things here. This is nothing to stress over about. It's still quite simple really. She's still their good girl. And they're still her bad boys. Right?

Vampiring is HARD. Things Bob has on his checklist when he accidentally becomes a vampire: a) forget everything he knows about vampires b) Google vampire survival tactics c) don't get brutally murdered by vampires. Apparently there are vampire LAWS, and Bob, a young, romantically-challenged black man living in Toronto, never got the guidebook. Even though it's not his fault that he's broken every rule, a secret vampire society is hellbent on giving him a more permanent death. With the help of his best pal, Claude, Bob tries to stay alive and hopefully turn around his screwed-up existence in the process. This is a FREE story with Paid Exclusive Chapters. Wattys 2022 Shortlist Wattpad Stormy Nights - Winner 20 CHAPTERS only on Wattpad [[word count: 50,000-75,000 words]] EXCERPT: ****** "Look: vampires are traditionally afraid of religious symbols. It's a well-known fact. If you're any kind of vampire, you should be outta here by now, not just sitting there drinking your coffee." "I'm not actually drinking it yet. Some idiot keeps interrupting me by shoving religious symbols in my face." Claude held up an ornate brass cross with a macabre Jesus Christ in the throes of death, designed to repel any nearby vampires. "Oh look," I said dryly, "the idiot's back." ****** Edited by Debra Goelz Cover model: Ariel Pacheco Cover Photo by: Theik Smith Cover designed by: Rodney V. Smith Want more? JOIN THE DISCORD SERVER: https://discord.gg/brxdsA9 Jaime's Infinite Playlist (spotify) https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7DfPirPYtLKwEeSQ1upKZY?si=NhEhkcsIQOOpb7kKXIXWNw Book Playlist: https://music.apple.com/ca/playlist/jaimes-infinite-playlist/pl.u-JPVJCEXxXYv

[COMPLETED] When down on her luck, Abby Redding lands a position as the personal assistant for wealthy businessman Alex Carter, her first assignment is to fix up his new cabin in a remote town. Things don't go as planned when an unsolved murder and a haunted cabin leave Abby Redding fighting for her life. Is her handsome boss hiding secrets? Or is there something more sinister afoot?