Sick of cliché Wattpad books? Then this isn't the book for you. We take every single over-used plot, character and trope on Wattpad - from player-meets-nerd to my-boyfriend-is-a-vampire - and mash it all into one, awful, hilarious parody. NOTE: This is a parody. Characters have not been created to mock a race/nationality/sexuality, they have been created to lightly poke fun at the way certain teen fiction writers reduce them into crude stereotypes. Thanks for helping this pile of junk get to #1 in Humor!

She slaps herself with the back of her hand. She will not die. Rachel is set on making the rest of her life torment, cutting and bleeding in an attempt to avenge his death. His death that she herself caused. Rachel, grief stricken, puts a blade to her wrists to dull the pain and the guilt that consumes her everyday since the death of her boyfriend.

The heavy droplets of rain were slowly slipping down the hood of his leather jacket and a few effortlessly kissed his dark chocolate hair. »H…Hi.« I sputtered. »What do you have there?« He walked closer to me and gazzed into my eyes with his dark ones, that perfectly matched his hair, then lowered his sight towards the kitten, hidden under my jacket. »One lil' kitty found another.« He smirked, amused by his own joke.

Paisley has a bucket list. After all, she's going to die in three months. What she expects is for her little excursions to be fun-filled and light-hearted, but what she doesn't expect is to have one thing on her bucket list that can only be achieved by bringing along badass Jude Andrews, who's got some secrets of his own. Now that Jude Andrews is tagging along with Paisley while she sets out to complete her bucket list, she learns he's giving her reasons to want to live as long as possible.

"If the world can't handle the truth, give them a spectacular lie." Bitch. That's what they called me at my old school. I disagree: I'm just brutally honest, that's all. Some people don't like honesty. Exhibit A: Matthew's family. None of them want to acknowledge that their Golden Boy is gay. Exhibit B: My Mother. I only told her the truth: that she was a crappy parent who never should've gotten knocked up in the first place. But she was so offended that she shipped me off to my fabulously wealthy father and his walking-billboard-for-plastic-surgery of a wife. So I devised a brilliant plan. My new friend Matthew was sick of hiding his sexuality. I was tired of obnoxious rich boys hitting on me. So why not pretend to be dating? He wouldn't have to answer uncomfortable questions anymore, and I'd enter my new school as the girlfriend of the star quarterback. It should be easy, right? Of course, I didn't plan on falling for Matthew's brother.