* this is just gonna be crazy so prepare yourselves * "it's simple; he's lonely. he needs a friend. and i'm going to be his friend." "she came along, and then i wasn't afraid of losing them; i was afraid of losing her TO them." (((just a note: to all those asking if this is a joke, it was, originally. but I wrote it in such a way that it's hard to tell whether it's a joke or not. so it's up to you!! either way, I hope you enjoy because I worked hard on this!!))) edit: why the fuck did i write this edit 2: the ONLY reason i'm leaving this story up is because other people seem to like it. but reading it now makes me want to peel my own skin off. edit 3: i wrote this in middle school. i am now in university. and the comments just keep coming. something about this just. means a lot to me, despite the fact that this is a hot pile of steaming garbage. it's cute.

I blame CrankThatFrank for this.

Obama arrives at Bikini Bottom eager to taste those delicious Krabby Patties. Love sparks when he lays eyes on the delicious, spongy chef.

17 year old Dan has feelings for his teacher Phil Lester, after a one night stand he is sure about his feelings but Phil keeps trying to push away the feelings knowing how wrong it is. But he can't seem to help it when he's around Dan. A/N: So there aren't any warnings so far, if there are we will include in the beginning of the chapters. There is a really big age gap though in case it makes you uncomfortable.