Sick of cliché Wattpad books? Then this isn't the book for you. We take every single over-used plot, character and trope on Wattpad - from player-meets-nerd to my-boyfriend-is-a-vampire - and mash it all into one, awful, hilarious parody. NOTE: This is a parody. Characters have not been created to mock a race/nationality/sexuality, they have been created to lightly poke fun at the way certain teen fiction writers reduce them into crude stereotypes. Thanks for helping this pile of junk get to #1 in Humor!

Misunderstood and overmedicated, twelve-year-old Lilith Bloom finds the prospect of a grand family reunion decidedly dull... That is, until she discovers that the rose garden surrounding her grandfather's Berlin mansion is, well, completely and utterly carnivorous. Armed with Panther, her talking pet whippet, and the help of the mute boy next door, Lilith must unravel the secrets behind the mysterious estate, all while her family remains gloriously unaware that they are about to be devoured.

NOTE: This is a sample. The first three chapters are available for reading only. Sometimes even the best-laid plans are meant to be broken... Emma Breyer has always been the 'ugly duckling' - the one no one sees. Fed up, she decides to make a plan to finally become the person she wants to be. She is shocked when the plan works! Finally, she has it all - the blond hair, fake lashes, fabulous job and gorgeous boyfriend. But then she hits a little snag - in the form of a beautiful brooding artist. Griffin is everything she is NOT looking for. But he's the only one who seems to truly see her and not just the person she's pretending to be. Now, she must choose between the perfect life she so carefully planned, and the one she has accidentally stumbled into. If you enjoy THE FIVE-YEAR PLAN, please check out my other stories here on Wattpad! Thanks so much for reading!

Jas gives me a sympathetic look. She sighs heavily, long nails tapping against the wooden table, dodging the 'Missing' posters scattered all over the surface. "Maybe," she finally says, "Just maybe, he doesn't want to be found, Ava." I clench my jaw. "No. I refuse to believe that. He's not like that." "What do you know?" Jas snorts, finally withdrawing her hand from the table and turning back to look at me. "You don't even know him." xx Ford Wilson was in three out of four of Ava Jackson's classes. They had one mutual friend, did a project together once in sophomore year, and had the same lunch. When Ava's car had broke down, she had even ended up parked outside of Ford's house, asking for gas. In Ava's life, he was everywhere. And yet, she didn't notice him until he was nowhere to be found.

When Ellie Reinhart started the 'Ribbon Campaign' in support of her brother and his boyfriend, she didn't expect it to grow into what it is. But it does. And that's where Bryce Newman comes in.

When the "Sexiest Man Alive" reneges on his book contract, no-nonsense editor Erin Andersen is sent to rein him in. But after meeting Stephen Spence, she discovers Distraction is contagious. Before the book deal slips away, Erin has to decide between her career and her heart. Whatever she decides, she might lose both. ------------------------------ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯C(_) -------------------------- Thank you for taking the time to check out my work - I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Please rate and comment before moving along, if you will. Also, I have a FREE BOOK for everyone, available on my website. Just copy and paste this link and you can read WEST WIND today: http://www.RobinVanAukenBooks.com What's WEST WIND about? Glad you asked: "Fate calls Sabrina to her grandmother's hospital bed where she hears a confession of betrayal and death. Is Destiny leading her on a twisted path? Her search takes her into the arms of embittered Jay West. Will Jay help Sabrina and, in doing so, restore his family's honor? Despite their undeniable attraction and Sabrina's belief in fate, Jay thinks its misfortune knocking on his door."

After Julie Delgado's restaurant closes, she temporarily takes over the catering position at the Rose Chalet, a full-service San Francisco wedding venue. She plans to dazzle the bride and groom so the Chalet's owner will keep her around, but fate has other plans for her when the bride's brother shows up for the first food tasting. Andrew Kyle is not only the Cuisine Channel's Edgy Eats host and chef, but his recent review of Julie's restaurant was the final nail in its coffin. Once he meets Julie at the Rose Chalet, he's certain she's playing it safe. And he wants nothing more than to be the one to break her guarded passions loose. But despite the undeniable sparks between Julie and Andrew-and the fact that he seems to believe in her when no one else does-can she afford to be taking risks with her cooking, with her career...or with her heart?

"So, you're a stripper?" "Yup." Molly is struggling to stay on her feet. After her mom leaves, she's left to take care of her little brother, and since they're on the verge of being homeless, she's forced to get a job outside of McDonald's. A strip club to be specific. Between shifts where she takes off her clothes for guys, she still has to go through high school, alone, and unhappy. But when a cute, and kinda dopey, guy who knows her from both of her lives seems interested, it just adds more to her heaping plate- a little too much for her to handle. Highest ranking: #9 in teen fiction.

When 17 year old Harley finds herself jobless, she needs a new job-- and quick. Her uncle comes to her house with a job offer. For her to become a teacher at his school. A school for delinquents. Watty Awards 2010 Winner of Best Overall, Best Romance, Best Female Lead, and Best Cast!

Sienna Mast is a tough girl and she always has been. But everybody has their breaking point. Sienna's abusive household becomes too much for her, so she seeks outside help in her uncle that lives across the country. She needs money and he has a lot of it, but she has to earn it. Her uncle promises Sienna money if she can complete the summer at a dance school. Since she's been dancing her whole life, she doesn't think it'll be too hard. However, she starts to rethink her decision when she realizes that her classmates are willing to do anything to beat the competition. With a bubbly roommate, a scary instructor, and a few jealous enemies, Sienna has to make it through the summer for her family's sake. What could possibly go wrong? Buy the paperback edition on Lulu! http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/writerbug44