humor
46 stories
Tame Me If You Can by TheBluntWeirdo
TheBluntWeirdo
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After kissing an irresistible stranger, a young professor discovers her mystery crush is one of her new students. MIA is an emotionally unavailable woman, who's dedicated everything to becoming the youngest professor at her university. Growing up with a narcissistic mother taught her to hide behind sarcasm and sass, while pushing away any pursuits of intimacy. JAKE is an irresistible sweetheart, who gets infatuated by a sharp-tongued woman and can't let her go, especially when he can read her like an open book and knows deep down, she's just afraid. When the two find themselves in a taboo academic setting, flames rise, chemistry explodes, and banter is never-ending. But will Jake be able to tame her heart without ruining them both in the process? DISCLAIMER: This is my first book, y'all. Don't be mean. Also, the smut fades to black. Ya horny animals. If you want full smut, read my other books. "I love this. Mia is exactly like me, we go through the same thoughts and same doubts and same anxieties. Thank you so much for writing this, to me it's more than a simple romance. I felt so incredibly seen while reading this." - reptaholic17 "Battling her demons is hard, but thankfully Jake is perfect for her. God, I'm so in love with Jake. This story is just amazing." - EuphoricLadyB "This was the first Wattpad where I actually cried. This was such an amazing story and I loved it so much! I am so attached to the characters and I laughed cried and swooned for them." -eatcatfood "This book was so beautiful omg. The characters were so relatable but not only that, the humor was top tier." - danyelle45_ "The lead characters stole my heart. What a chemistry ...it was not a typical professor loves student Romcom..." - KomalJain383 "I absolutely am in love with this book. From the sarcasm to the embarrassment. I absolutely love it. It held the right amount of everything that you see in the real world, which made it so much more realistic." - theykravedeiia
Nothing To Prove by TheBluntWeirdo
TheBluntWeirdo
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'If we pretend to be a couple, I might make you mine for real.' When sweet Samantha fakes a relationship with her sarcastic roommate, she never suspects that he might not be pretending at all. 21-year-old Samantha is a broke influencer struggling with insecure thoughts. No one knows that behind her bubbly smile, she numbs her self-doubts with substance abuse and online likes. But a steamy encounter with a witty bartender starts a chemistry too strong to ignore. And when circumstances force them to live under the same roof, resisting each other is painfully impossible. The only way out? Fake an online relationship and make more money to get the hell out. The only problem? While she promises herself not to fall in love, he does everything to change her mind.
Celia by TheBluntWeirdo
TheBluntWeirdo
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A preacher's daughter and a lonely biker make a secret arrangement that might break their little town into chaos. CELIA is fierce and independent, wishing to escape her judgmental town. Behind her striking and cold appearance, hides a vulnerable girl who feels betrayed and alone. She lives according to her own rules and counts the days until she saves enough to run and never return. GIO is new to her town and needs a babysitter for his daughter. Behind his rugged and intimidating appearance, hides a protective man who's looking for a fresh start. He's got strong principles and will take every selfless risk to ensure that those close to him are taken care of. She's looking for an escape, he's trying to settle down. She's got temper, he needs to stay calm. Two outcasts need each other to reach their goals, but what happens when feelings get in the way? "This is by far my favorite book. And this will forever have a special place in my heart." -CydneeBrockett "This story was something else. It made me cry, it made me laugh, and it made me happy. It was amazing watching the character development and the beautiful plot being put into this." - alibbg "This story put me through the ringer. And the ending was perfect. I love everything about it." - YelenaLugin "Absolutely loved this book with my entire being. I'm happy that neither character was perfect and they showed how relationships are different." - Bihhyhutriedit
Nothing Burns Like You by TheBluntWeirdo
TheBluntWeirdo
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'You're not going anywhere, Clara. You're not running away from this.' Everything I felt for him, everything that could ruin me, raged to rip apart and crash at his feet. He gently lifted my chin with one finger, his mouth hovering over mine. 'I'm the last person in this world you can hide from. How many times do I have to remind you?' ⚠️ WHOLESOME & ANGSTY MAFIA ROMANCE ⚠️ After stealing his enemy's daughter, Daniel Volkov never expects to be the one who gets captivated. Clara Rossi was not afraid to fight back. Especially with Volkov, who provoked her like it was an art form. He was chaotic, cunning, and unpredictable. Not to mention, annoyingly charming and sometimes even thoughtful. Except none of that mattered. They had a fractured past. A hopeless future. And a million reasons to never be together. HEARTWARMING REVIEWS FROM MY READERS "This was everything for me, dark romances are sometimes so toxic and I don't understand the need of toxicity in them cuz they can be written beautifully like you wrote it. Starting with Volkov, he's a protector without being controlling, he listens to everyone and never exerts his power on anyone. And Clara, oh how I love her so much, she's such a strong person from the start. She was as much of a protector as Volkov was. This is gonna have a special place im my heart always ♥️" - Maddylewis998-" - This book is very different from what you'd expect a mafia romance or dark romance to be. Daniel was a like a fresh Breeze. He has issues but knows his boundaries. These are the men you want to be with. Gentlemen but know when to not be one. And our female MC. My girl has brains. Knows when to do what. Our girl knows what she wants." - Mierda_you
Care to Command by TheBluntWeirdo
TheBluntWeirdo
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Office enemies fight for the same promotion, while resisting their growing chemistry. LAYLA masks her insecurities behind perfectionism. The goofy girl who loved flowers and cooking for her parents is now a workaholic and out of touch with herself. All she's able to focus on is to get promoted so that she has a chance to feel confident and earn her dad's long-awaited approval. LUCAS hides a heavy burden with charm and nonchalance. The boy who used to be nurturing and open now pretends to joke around without a care. What he doesn't share is that he might want that promotion to fulfill his own voids just like her. One thing leads to another, and the two find themselves in unprofessional settings where their masks slowly come off, showing how similar they are, and just how much they might need each other. "Loved this story. It had everything that makes a story amazing. Fuming hot chemistry. Believable flawed characters that changed and matured through chapters. " - loriblu2000 "This was just the kind of story I've been looking for. So cute and also realistic. I adored the characters and their banters sooo much." - draama__queen "I absolutely adore Layla and Lucas and and they are characterized so beautifully that it's almost impossible for them not to become instant favorites." - Wisal13 "I LOVE Layla's strong character, the strong female lead because it's literally so rare, especially on Wattpad, and I loved that the male lead, not once tried to show how MANLY he is and exert his power because of his insecurities, like in most books." - maddylewis998 "This book made me laugh , cry and did some other things too hehe.. This is one of the best rom-com books I've ever read I have to re-read again.. Lots of love" - jamsniee "Sooo I started reading this at 1am and finished at 10:30 am... and it was so fking worth it! " - cassie2736
The Best Friend of My Crush by nerdinspects
nerdinspects
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|Completed| Beryl is a smart, studious nerd. She has crushed on Nick Conman, the playboy, since freshman year. She has disliked Blaise Anderson, Nick's best friend, since freshman year. Now, in Junior year, when her project partner leaves the school, she is partenered up with Nick and Blaise. She is where any girl of her school would want to be. But with her crush and his best friend, there comes a big trouble. *** Copyrighted. Being edited
Soft Spot by TheFeveredBookaholic
TheFeveredBookaholic
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From the writer of Sweet Spot, comes the sequel of two familiar characters you already saw coming. Harper Davis has many titles: marketing connoisseur, almost-lawyer, disappointment to parents, and most importantly: liar. Big. Fat. Liar. But what else is a girl supposed to do when her overachieving parents ask her if she's in a relationship? It's bad enough they think she's incompetent, but single at the age of 31? Is there a cliff to jump off around here? And thanks to her big, fat, lying skills, Mr. and Mrs. Davis are flying into town to meet Harper's alleged boyfriend. The non-existent one. The "I'm about to be caught in the act" one. The "it was nice knowing you guys" one. Enter Sawyer James. He also has many titles: douchebag, womanizer, know-it-all, and just about any colourful insult in the book. The one title Harper didn't expect him to have? Boyfriend. Fake boyfriend. After years of working in vicinity and being known for their competitive nature, Harper never thought she would agree to fake-date the office hunk. But she's short on time and options and she can (frustratingly) admit that no one could play this part better than her work enemy. The "he probably sucks in bed" enemy. The "okay fine that's a lie" enemy. They say never to mix business and pleasure, but it doesn't count if it's pretend...right? *A hilarious reverse grumpy x sunshine, office romance, and fake dating rom-com. Rated 18+ due to mature scenes. All rights reserved to TheFeveredBookaholic.*
Sweet Spot by TheFeveredBookaholic
TheFeveredBookaholic
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Sierra Lancaster has had an agonizingly mediocre life. She grew up in a happy home, made loyal friends, graduated college, and is now pursuing her dream of running her own bakery. Boring, right? A story like this wouldn't be one for the books. At least not until you bring a hot neighbour into the mix. A tall, brooding, shredded (like, wash your clothes on those abs shredded), and wildly successful sports agent. Interested yet? It gets better. Said neighbour isn't just a rando, but Sierra's childhood nemesis that made her formerly chubby days a living hell. Now we're talking, aren't we? Holden Rey has always been the golden boy. Holden...golden...you following? You'd think the bitchy universe would do its job and throw some karma his way but to no avail. Not only has he got it all, but he knows it too. He also still has it out for Sierra and resumes being a jack-ass of epic proportions (and his ass ain't his only epic proportion) as soon as he realizes who the new girl next door is. It's the same old story with these two except this time, there's unwilling attraction and sexual tension underneath all the hate. Is it just lust or does the bitchy universe actually have a plan? So maybe this story is one for the books after all. *A hilarious, enemies-to-lovers, romantic standalone. Rated 18+ due to mature content. All rights reserved to TheFeveredBookaholic.*
His Appointed Wife  by fathy_writes
fathy_writes
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"What if the right person is also your Mr. So Wrong?" *** Her lips touched and teased and coaxed him and he felt her touch in every cell and every bone. Soft and supple, her body was around him. Everywhere. She was everywhere. He was hungry for more, but he couldn't break this sweetness. Shy and timid, she kissed like herself. All so innocent, but incredibly passionate. The kiss was gentle, yet also fire. And he couldn't help anymore. He wanted more. He pushed her back gently and her back hit the wall and he pressed himself to her amazing body. "Ah." He thought. "Can I really stay away after this?" "I can't." She thought. ~~~ A guy, a girl, a contract and sizzling sexual tension brewing between them. Is it possible for them to come out of it with zero casualties? ~~~ "I'll give you a place to stay and I'll pay you, all you have to do is to pretend to be my wife for an year, in return. It is that easy." Or is it? With a contract, their deal is filed, signed and sealed with a kiss. Finally, Alexandra will have a home, have someone to back her up in the fight of getting back what is legally hers. Logan will have the revenge he wants against his ex-girlfriend, Stacy. Gambling with the matters of heart is just dangerous. You might hit the jackpot or you will be neck deep in heartbreak. It all depends on the cards that have been dealt to you. And they will both realize it soon enough, when their heart take over their brain. ___
The End of Summer by makeandoffer
makeandoffer
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Summer Jacobs knew full well about her town’s tradition. Every year at the end of the summer, a party would be held on school grounds without the knowledge of the parents or the teachers. It had been happening since before Summer was born and never once was anyone the wiser. This year however, everyone was going to find out. Summer had planned a weekend of alcohol, bad decisions and horrendous photo’s which she would later un-tag herself from on Facebook. A whole weekend with her friends at the biggest party of the year, without any worries or parents telling her what to do. So how she ended up trapped in the school with a deranged psycho killing her classmates off one by one, she will never know. It wouldn’t have been as bad if she was trapped on her own. She would have been happier to face the lunatic solo rather than be trapped with a guy who kept using the life or death situation to make passes at her. His theory was being so close to death should definitely loosen her up, and by ‘loosen up’ he definitely meant ‘get naked.’ Along with his friends who between them had the IQ of a baby tree stump, an outcast who probably still had Spiderman bed sheets and the cheerleaders who were more worried about all the blood staining their new white jeans, they had to somehow make it out of there alive. And to think, Summer’s biggest worry that weekend was waking up with a brutal hangover… ©makeandoffer