Humor
11 kuwento
Kidnap My Heart ni TheFlamingPopsicle
TheFlamingPopsicle
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Emma van der Bilt is clever, snarky, and spoiled rotten. William Knight is cocky, impatient, and slightly dimwitted. So how exactly did Will manage to kidnap Emma and her best friend twice and live to talk about it? *** "What the hell-" I screeched. "Good morning, sunshine." I looked up in alarm and saw the smirking face of my kidnapper. His face would have made me a lot angrier had it not been terribly swollen, thanks to yours truly. "I'd say good morning, but judging by the boner on your face, I'd say you weren't having such a good morning." His self-satisfied smirk fell almost instantly, and his partner-in-crime laughed out loud from the driver's seat. "Actually," he said, "I'm having a pretty good morning. My luck's about to change. You wanna know why?" I didn't answer. "I'll tell you why. I've successfully kidnapped the daughter of one of the richest men in the country." "Don't start counting your lucky stars just yet. This isn't over yet," I snapped. "Isn't it?" he asked, raising the eyebrow above his good eye. His other one remained in a permanent squint, and it made it kind of hard to take him seriously. "I'm not the one who's naked and tied up in a stranger's back seat." I glanced down at myself and noticed for the first time that I was in my bra and panties. Honestly, I was kind of relieved. When he'd said "naked," I'd assumed he meant birthday-suit naked, not half-naked. *** Warning: Rated PG-13 for sexual content and language. Mostly language. I have a colorful vocabulary.
Fraternizing with the Enemy ni hyrule
hyrule
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(alternatively called: slow burn, second-hand embarrassment, and shenanigans) A girl made up of short fuses, clumsy feet and copious amounts of sarcasm has to team up with her irritatingly obnoxious neighbour in the name of love (also known as raging teenage hormones). Because in the grand scheme of things, what's a little deal with the devil? (Spoiler Alert: absolute chaos.) cover by xdemonsflowerx
The Fourth Roommate ni Jinxjinx
Jinxjinx
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"They were like three half-naked supermodels with bedhair and matching movie star grins. What did I get myself into...?." Serena Jones an eighteen year old graduate, is moving out into a loft in New York. Only, she isn't moving in with any old friends or a girl going to the same universty... she's moving in with three handsome, young college boys who are wilder than she's used to. They pull pranks, laugh and even try to cheer her up with girly movies. As friendship with them unravels as do some feelings... And with a complicated past which made her run, Serena is stuck somewhere between her wants and her fears.
My Delivery Boy ni affiniteas
affiniteas
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Maisie Lockhart is your non-believer of "love at first sight". Until, it may become an awaken belief when a particular delivery boy catches her eyes one day at her family market. Without a doubt, Maisie finally feels that "attraction" kicking in. But what happens when that certain delivery boy is nowhere to be seen? Enter the Valentino's. They are the handsome, upcoming heirs to well known company, Phoenix Empire. Maisie finds herself sharing some interest with one of the Valentino's. Just when things can't get any messier, her delivery boy may be more than she expects once Maisie manages to catch sight of him once again.
The Shy Girl Has a Gun ni makeandoffer
makeandoffer
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Faith Mitchell was never confident. She was happy to blend into the background, much to the protest of her friends. At 16, her life was a normal teenage cliche. She was in love with Jace, the obnoxious player who she couldn't have, and her biggest worry was whether or not he would finally come to his senses and see that she really was the one for him. That is until she is kidnapped and recruited by a secret agency of assassins. She is torn away from her normal teenage life and thrown into a world of guns, knifes and criminals. The agency mold her into the perfect killing machine, and at 19 she is no longer the shy girl that was snatched away from her uncomplicated life, but a ruthless killer who will stop at nothing to complete whatever mission she is on. Then, the agency has a new mission which involves Faith returning to her hometown, and facing her friends, family and the very boy who broke her heart just before it turned into stone. What will happen once Faith comes face to face with Jace? Will the obnoxious player be able to reach out and get the old Faith back without pressing any of her wrong buttons, considering that the shy girl he once knew now has a gun. (WATTY AWARDS 2011) (THE FICTION AWARDS 2017) ©makeandoffer
The End of Summer ni makeandoffer
makeandoffer
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Summer Jacobs knew full well about her town’s tradition. Every year at the end of the summer, a party would be held on school grounds without the knowledge of the parents or the teachers. It had been happening since before Summer was born and never once was anyone the wiser. This year however, everyone was going to find out. Summer had planned a weekend of alcohol, bad decisions and horrendous photo’s which she would later un-tag herself from on Facebook. A whole weekend with her friends at the biggest party of the year, without any worries or parents telling her what to do. So how she ended up trapped in the school with a deranged psycho killing her classmates off one by one, she will never know. It wouldn’t have been as bad if she was trapped on her own. She would have been happier to face the lunatic solo rather than be trapped with a guy who kept using the life or death situation to make passes at her. His theory was being so close to death should definitely loosen her up, and by ‘loosen up’ he definitely meant ‘get naked.’ Along with his friends who between them had the IQ of a baby tree stump, an outcast who probably still had Spiderman bed sheets and the cheerleaders who were more worried about all the blood staining their new white jeans, they had to somehow make it out of there alive. And to think, Summer’s biggest worry that weekend was waking up with a brutal hangover… ©makeandoffer
Love Is... ni RidingLife
RidingLife
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"Love is..." I explored my brain to find the most suitable word in my dictionary that could fit in the definition I was trying to say; the definition that could make the jerk, sitting opposite me with a smirk on his face, believe in 'love'. "Bullshit?" He offered with a huge arrogant smirk on his face and no matter how much I agreed with him on this particular matter, I couldn't agree. So, instead of nodding my head in agreement, I scowled at him. His smirk grew bigger and he leaned away from me, gazing at me with his piercing grey eyes. "Finding it hard to make me believe in love when you yourself don't believe in that shit, huh?" With his piercing grey gaze fixed on my every move, I realized that 'being the devil's cupid' was going to be a lot tougher than I had initially thought. (By the author of 'And We Meet Again')
The Gangleader Kidnapped Me | ✓ ni whiskeyroses
whiskeyroses
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"You're an asshole," I blurted. "You're such an asshole that your actual asshole is jealous." Silence. What the hell did I just say? Out of all the insults, I choose one that makes the least sense? Damn it, why couldn't I just have been born normal... Wait, never mind. Psh, screw sanity. "Can we keep her?" Tyler suddenly says, bouncing on his tippy toes. "Please, Keith? Can we keep her? Huh, huh, huh?" What am I, a pet? "Keith" whipped his head towards Tyler so fast I could've sworn I heard a crack. "Keep her?" he echoed. "No, Tyler, we can not keep her." Thank you. "She's utterly useless to us, and you want to keep her?" I gasped, placing a hand over my chest. Useless? Damn, these people are rude as hell. "But," Tyler whined, walking over to me. I tensed all over when he squished my cheeks together. "Look at how adorable she is. She's just so innocent... you'd never suspect anything bad from her." Keith expression changed, to one I knew very well from my experiences with Val. Lightbulb. "Tyler, you are a genius," Keith says. Tyler's hands stop squishing my cheeks. "I am?" "He is?!" everyone else says. Keith doesn't reply, just keeps on grinning wickedly. And suddenly I have a feeling that I am not gonna make it out of here alive. - WARNING: VERY CRINGE WORTHY MATERIAL NOW AVAILABLE TO PURCHASE http://www.lulu.com/shop/angel-zenith/the-gangleader-kidnapped-me/paperback/product-23087208.html Highest Rank: #1 in Humor April 19, 2015 CoAuthor: DreamCreature