"Hello?" "Why do '24 hours, 7 days a week' shops have locks on their doors?" "Uh-" "Why is the meaning of life hard to find when we have dictionaries?" "Um perso-" "Why is the word 'abbreviation' so long?" "I dont kno-" "If a cow laughed really hard would milk come out its nose?" "Hey-" "Does a postman deliver his own mail?" "MYSTERY PERSON!" "Yes?" "I don't know the answers to your stupid questions." "Okay then, how's life?" ---------------------------------------- Hello fellow readers! Thank you for clicking on my book, I hope you enjoy it. This book is from my imagination so please don't steal it. Highest ranking in short story: #5 ** this story is completed ** My story is edited but I know it's not perfect. If anyone finds any spelling or grammar mistakes feel free to comment in the comment section. Thank you.

❝hi this is Panda Express, how may I help you?❞ ❝can i have one order of general tso's chicken? hold the chicken, double the vegetables.❞ ❝how in the world is that general tso's chicken?❞ ☂ lowercase intended. story inspired by many others. ☂ -- just a pinch of love #1 -- #339 in humor 1/2/15

[sequel to teen helpline] ❝Hello, this is the Breakup Helpline, designed and manufactured to cater to your brokenhearted needs. How may I help you?❞ ❝My girlfriend...just cheated on me. With my best friend.❞ ❝Um..uh, hold on...oh, fuck! There's nothing on how to respond to that in these answer sheets!❞ ___________________________________________________________________ When happy-go-lucky Theo Hastings discovers his best friend has been fucking his girlfriend behind his back for the last six months, Theo's whole life has been careening on the rocks- until his cousin, Damien Carson, forces him to look for help on a helpline- a particular helpline call the 'Breakup Helpline' and there he meets sarcastic, cynical realist Serena Adams, who doesn't believe in love at all. And maybe, just maybe, Theo can change her mind. this is a tale about the hopeless romantic and the skeptical non-believer, the idealistic sentimentalist and the bitter soul, and how fate brings them together.

Because everything was bittersweet and strawberry flavoured.

Boy finds girl's number in bathroom stall. Girl thinks boy's a freak. Somehow, they end up being what they both need over a series of phone calls and conversations.

'A light romance comedy tinged with drama but don't be fooled: the twists will guarantee you an entertaining reading' @officalfuryevans 'A quick, but a very amazing read. I love how it's not cliché and unique. Very different from all the 'Hotline' stories I've read on Wattpad. You should read it.' @ceraunophic 'I rate this story a 5 stars. This story has an amazing storyline and shows that sometimes you just don't get what you want. This is an amazing book with a very well thought out twist ending. This book is definitely not as cliché as I thought it would be, but I think that's a good thing' @thebuch *** "Hello this is Home Dep-" "Oh my gosh I need someone's help ASAP!" "What's wrong?!" "Do you have a zombie apocalypse kit?" *call ended* *** Cover made by: Chatachino Highest Ranking: [8] In Short Story