The human race stands on the brink of extinction; the result of a plague the likes of which the world has never seen. When salvation comes, it isn't a miracle cure created by science or our government that saves us. No, our saviors are monsters. Jane appears to be nothing special. In fact, she's a sad sight to behold, afflicted by the sorrow of her tragic past and failing marriage. The young wife and mother of two finds herself just as terrified as every other soul when humanity faces doom. Yet, when hope seems lost, Jane does something even her estranged husband fails to--she fights. And she's not alone. David and his companions are what our world has dismissed as mere legend. Their duty to the human race brings them across the country--and they all know it is no coincidence when they cross paths with Jane. As it happens, Jane is special. She's destined to be the very center of our world's fate. With her heart divided and monsters from every nightmare seeking her out, Jane will quickly learn the greatest war is the one within. So what will she do when they realize she's the greatest monster of them all? ✦Gods & Monsters is the first book of the Gods & Monsters trilogy, an emotional and epic tale of one woman's battle against true monsters while she endures her greatest fight--the war with her own inner-demon. It's a story of loss, tragedy, war, good vs evil--a not so simple love-triangle--and supernatural beings like you've never seen them before.✦ Warning: this is only a sample

❝Slice of Heaven Pizzeria, carry out or delivery?❞ ❝D-de-delivery.❞ ❝What would you like this evening?❞ ❝A large p-pepperoni penis.❞ ❝...❞ ❝...❞ ❝I don't know about the pepperoni part but I can sure get you everything else.❞ ----- In which a socially awkward girl attempts to order pizza only to meet a flirty meme-loving dork.

❝I- what? What are you talking about? Who is this?❞ ❝Well the bathroom stall says that this number is the gateway to a good time, and unless you're trying to say that a bathroom stall is lying to me, I think I need a little more information to be sold. Do you have like a yelp page I could look up? Past customer reviews? How many stars out of five?❞ ❝What are yo- oh my god, I'm going to fucking kill Marie.❞ (alternatively called: a lot of people shit with pens) written in dialogue // cover by xhemmingshugsx