*****WATTYS 2015 WINNER!***** WATTPAD STAFF PICK (9/7/15) In the end, the robots win. But you already knew that. "Everyone Died + My iPhone Stopped Working" is a collection of short interviews with some of the survivors. People who have tremendous insight into the rise of Artificially Intelligent machines or, more often, don't. Why did the robots rise up? What did they want? Why couldn't they be stopped? Can they be stopped now? Is humanity doomed? And what the f--k is going on with the squirrels? You will get the answers to all of these questions. Or some of these questions. Or none of these questions. We'll see. I will be updating this once a week until I run out of stuff that I find funny. Then I'm done. Cover art courtesy of the hilarious and ridiculously talented Dave Pressler. (http://www.davepresslerart.com)

WATTY 2016 WINNER of the HQ Love Award! Strange Yarns is a ball of tangled tales. Twisted, knotted, and intertwined. Like Tales of the Crypt, the Twilight Zone, and The Outer Limits. Strange Yarns is not just a collection of ghastly tales, these are yarns, and yarns are sewed together. Follow the yarns and see the grand design... think of this as an evil quilt. Ghost, ghouls, and cannibals being studied for nutrition research, Strange Yarns has got it all. ALL EXCEPT HAPPY ENDINGS!!! (The Author's Lawyer's retain the rights to define happy endings.) I'd love it if you'd vote. And if you really like them please share with a friend. And if you hated them, please share with an enemy. *Josh Saltzman is a Canadian Comedy Award winning writer and director. Recently he was the head writer of season 2 and 3 of Inspector Gadget on Netflix. His other credits include Fangbone! (Disney XD), Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs: The Animated Series (Sony/DHX), and in live action Call Me Fitz (HBO Canada). Josh has also made lots of weird videos you can find on youtube.

Samuel Brandt woke up with his thoughts written all over his body. His brother woke up with his head missing. His sister woke up to find that her skin would crack open unless she stayed in water. All of the other children in the secluded Iowa town of Oak Knoll woke up having undergone strange transformations. Now, they are all forced to live at 407 West Marshall Street, the mysterious house outside of town. With the new name of The Boy with Words for Skin, Samuel wants nothing more than to hide from his new life. He painfully and unpredictably sheds his skin, there is a Voice in the entryway closet that is often cruel, and-perhaps worst of all for a naturally shy boy-the other children look to him as a leader. As his seven-year-old brother struggles with their new life, as terrifying growls start to come from the pitch black basement, and as his feelings for a girl begin to grow, The Boy with Words for Skin realizes that he wants to change. He wants to put others first, learn from his peers, and let himself hope that things will get better. The Boy with Words for Skin is the first book in the 407 West Marshall Street series. Each book will advance the story but be told from a different character. Book 2 will be The Girl without Eyes.