Millie Anderson had only gone to that party because her boss begged her to attend. Little did she know that it would change her life forever, in more ways than one. She saw him from across the room, the dark, mysterious stranger and her heart raced. His smile was the very predator stalking her but his voice was smooth and alluring. Duane Drakon hadn't meant to seek her out but she lured him in. He never meant to bring his families attention on her. Inadvertently though, he had done just that. His family was hoping that he had finally seen the light. They wanted him to stop his doughnut eating habit and return to eating humans. That had been their family way for millennia. They were tired of him dragging their good name into disrepute. When Millie finds herself caught in the realm of a real life dragon, she decided that she had two choices. She could turn tail and run, hoping that she doesn't become a flaming meat popsicle. Or she could stay and find out about Duane's world. Sure she had his family constantly wanting to eat her. Then there was the maddening attraction she felt for him. Mix in her own family dramas and life was rather hectic. She could survive this surely.... Couldn't she?

The family burns basics. Trashes tropes. Their daughter isn't out for blood. She's out for the person who started the cliche that ended her. ✯ ✯ ✯ "Even though I dip your toothbrush in the toilet bowl, excessively steal your clothes, purposefully annoy the hell out of you, and wish at every 11:11 that you'd be in a body bag the next morning - you're still my sister. And we will always have one another's back." ✯ ✯ ✯ "You're a cute banana." "Excuse me?" "Yellow on the outside, white on the inside." He read my silence as confusion and added, "Your little brother there is an Oreo; black on the outside, white on the inside. Your pretty sister over there is a coconut; brown on the outside, white on-" "What the shit. That's how you want to hit on me?" +++ Wendzel Baxtard, a feminist killjoy armed with heavy loads of sarcasm and marinates herself in self-respect, is ready to destroy the ethnic slurs and derogatory terms that were brought on her because of the clothes she wore and her sexual behaviors.

The first book of the USA Today Bestselling series! "Though much of the book is light-hearted and occasionally outright hilarious, the author sneaks in a few home truths along the way that will hit you where it counts, like how even someone’s best intentions can box you in." --Everybody Needs a Little Romance "This was one of those books that I kept telling myself one more page, then I need to put it down. Instead I found myself tearing through the book instead, needing to know the outcome." --Just Jump Book Reviews **** For Rose Gardner, working at the DMV on a Friday afternoon is bad even before she sees a vision of herself dead. She’s had plenty of visions, usually boring ones like someone’s toilet’s overflowed, but she’s never seen one of herself before. When her overbearing momma winds up murdered on her sofa instead, two things are certain: There isn't enough hydrogen peroxide in the state of Arkansas to get that stain out, and Rose is the prime suspect. Rose realizes she’s wasted twenty-four years of living and makes a list on the back of a Wal-Mart receipt: twenty-eight things she wants to accomplish before her vision comes true. She’s well on her way with the help of her next door neighbor Joe, who has no trouble teaching Rose the rules of drinking, but won’t help with number fifteen-- do more with a man. Joe’s new to town, but it doesn’t take a vision for Rose to realize he’s got plenty secrets of his own. Somebody thinks Rose has something they want and they’ll do anything to get it. Her house is broken into, someone else she knows is murdered, and suddenly, dying a virgin in the Fenton County jail isn’t her biggest worry after all. ***** Winner of The Beacon – 2010 Unpublished Division, Mainstream Category "Thirty-Two and a Half Complications" releases on June 24, 2014.

These are just some funny jokes to tell and stuff WARNING: be prepared to have 'water' running down your legs!