The Devil Wears Girl Jeans [BEING EDITED]

About 16 years ago, a fantastic gift was bestowed upon my parents, and they named it Hartley. Yeah, rhymes with Fartley. Thanks mom and dad. Regardless of the unfortunate things my name rhymed with, I had a blissfully drama free childhood, until highschool rolled around. From my first lungful of the heavy, nacho and A...