WARNING MAY BE TRIGGER WARNINGS WILL LIST AT BEGINNING OF CHAPTERS. Kurt Hummel forces a smile. He doesn't remember the last time he smiled for real. His husband,Blaine, is the only reason he is alive. He does cut himself when Blaine is not home. Blaine Anderson loves his life. He has the man of his dreams a good job and amazing friends he couldn't have it another way. But he knows Kurt's hiding something. Kurt always wears long sleeves and sweat pants Blaine doesn't remember the last time they had sex and Kurt never gets naked except for being in the shower and Kurt cried for a whole hour because Blaine walked in the bathroom when he was taking a shower. Something Is Wrong.

Kurt and Blaine are just married, they are out of their minds from happiness. there's just one thing missing according to Blaine...

"They always say leave a note." He said. "So was that your idea of a note?" I asked. "Better than yours..." He said. "There was none." I said confused. "Exactly." He smirked.

Kurt doesn't speak much. If he ever finally does speak up, will he have the courage to face his fears? Will he take chances? Or will he let his life be ruled by complete and utter terror? Is he the only one with damage? XXXXX I was not silent in my attempts to retrieve my bag. No, I was grunting and mumbling the whole time with my strenuous efforts to get Kurt off the strap of my satchel all while being hyper aware of how my face was basically between his knees. But now was not the time for dirty thoughts. Since the sounds were coming from under the table, by Kurt's crotch, and I was grunting stuff like, "dirty cocksucker, you'll be lucky if I don't punch you in the balls," I'm pretty sure anyone within hearing distance thought I was giving him a rather violent hand job. And of course Kurt wouldn't just move his foot so I could come out from under the table. Nope, he just sat there. XXXXXX Trigger Warning: Self harm and non con mentioned often.