Albino American Rambunctious Latina thinks that she should have been born as a Mexican girl. When she gets a mysterious French note from a guy in her locker, she becomes obsessed with finding her sexy foreign secret admirer. Her best friend, Zshaniqquan Tae-Tae Sakura Ramennoodle, is a ghetto Japanese girl who has a habit of eating bananas at inappropriate times. Together, they embark on an adventure that includes kidnapping Harry Styles, meeting Sam and Dean Winchester, turning Adam Llambert straight, finding their secret admirererererer...and much more.