This isn't love. This is just sex. This is just attention. Matty tells himself that's just what he needs. Just moments in which he can forget, in which the world blurs out and he doesn't have to focus on everything so very wrong with both his mind and his body. It's like getting drunk without the hangover, in his mind it's the perfect solution to the boy who could never love him back. He's just not quite sure whether that boy is just George, or himself too. No kind of high, physical or emotional, could possibly take all his problems away, but he's content enough with those moments, even if he always loses much more of himself than just the worst kind of thoughts. [Genderfluid Matty] [Warnings for mentions/refrences to drug abuse, manipulative relationships, dysphoria, drunk sex, dubious consent, and very bad self care] [Those things don't relate to matty and george's relationship btw] [Cover art drawn by me]

Matty's not co-dependent, exactly, just very attached, and he's coping, and it's not like anything's happened, except so much happened all at once, because George is allowed to have girlfriends, because Matty and George were never exclusive, they were never anything really, it's just that Matty would like to think that there was something, and that that something was more than wishful thinking, but he reckons it's too late for that now. And it was bad enough seeing George kiss her. Maybe it would have been fine if he'd just reacted like a normal person about it, but no, Matty didn't speak to anyone for days, and George moved out to live with her, like Matty can blame him, and Matty's had what is easily the most depressing four months of his life, because it's come to the point where he's pretty sure he hates George, except, he doesn't, not really, because it's Matty's fault, if anyone's, even though he's yet to get his head around it. But then before Matty really knows what's happening George has broken up with his girlfriend, and needs somewhere to stay for a while before he can sort things out, and Ross is just kind enough to volunteer Matty's house - he has a spare room, after all. It used to be George's room, after all.

George knows his relationship is falling apart-he really does, but he's not quite sure what to do about that fact. He's tried fixing it, but nothing works, and George is reaching the point where he isn't even sure if he wants to repair the damage if he's the only one putting in any effort. But he's not a cheater, and although he finds himself fascinated with a certain stripper at a club he frequents more than he probably should, it's just a passing crush-nothing more. And it doesn't matter if he spends most of his time with Matty instead of his boyfriend, because they're just friends. He's only doing so because Kyle is out practically every night with fuck knows who, so George is entitled to share his evenings with someone else, it's strictly platonic after all...mostly. ~~~ Stripper AU Wattpad exclusive Completed