Si Pandora Del Rio ay isang registered nurse na magduduty sa Luna De Vista Mental Institute. Isang sanctuario kung saan ang mga babaeng wala na sa katinuan at sariling pag-iisip ang kanilang inaasist at inaalagaan ng mga katulad niyang nars. Sa kanyang unang pagtung-tong sa Luna De Vista ay hindi agad naging maganda ang kanyang karanasan dahil siya ay ginawa pang hostage ng isa sa mga pasyenteng nagwawala. Doon niya makikilala ang isang pasyenteng nakuha ang kanyang atensyon. [Cover page not mine. Picture credits to the original owner. Source: Pinterest]

"No! Stop!" I could see her fading silhouette. She keeps on walking away just like the way I dreamt of her every night. 'No! Please don't walk away. I need to see your face. I need to know your name. I need to find you.' But I know that it wasn't enough. If there's anything that she's good at, it is into dodging people away. "Please!?" I almost beg. "I need to see you. Just stop." I keep on running and chasing after her. But like in every dreams, she kept on slowly fading away. And I could feel the same emptiness within whenever I've dreamt of this. It starts with her fading hands. Like a human form that's painfully breaking into tiny crystallized pieces that's scattered into thin air, she's dissolving in an incredibly fast-paced. "No. Please don't!" I could feel the tears that's running down on my cheeks as I try to grab her fading hand. "No! No!" As if there's a heavy rock on my chest, my breath starts to heave. I could feel the hollow emptiness within and the contradictory feeling of being crushed beneath.

"You may not want to be in my head. You might find someone other than myself that you won't be able to forget. It'll haunt you like a nightmare you can't tell. " "Silly. What's in that tough demeanor, ate Cray?" tumawa lang si Ember at kumapit ulit sa braso ko. "I like you. That's enough right?" Napailing na lang ako sa inaasal nito. If she'll learn our history, she'll then understand. Pinalis ko yung kamay nitong nakakapit na naman sa braso ko. "Compose yourself, Ember. I don't like you. You're just like a sister to me. Someone I had to protect with my life." I caught the way those words cut through her. It's visible in the same set of lifeless coal eyes that I am most familiar with. "Bakit?" I stared at her blankly. "Atleast tell me what you don't like about me." "That's exactly why it hurts the way it hurts." Napangiti ako ng mapait. "You have too many questions, too many words, in your head. But those will be left unsaid. Like me, you have to suffer through the intricacy of feeling too much every single day of your life. It hurts like hell." "Damn you. I like you." "You like me for what?" "You. You're not like everyone else. You're so sure of yourself. You're clever. You're self-made. You're everything. Everyone likes you. So you should be mine." I laughed at how shallow those things meant for her. Someone who can't even meet me in the depths of my shattered soul. "Thanks. But those are all my disorder." As i was about to turn my back, she whispered, "I actually feel sorry for you. You still don't know what it was that you even had. And yet still choose to lose. But one day, you'll see me for who I really am. And you're going to hate yourself for turning me down." No, Ember. You're wrong. I know you. You don't know me. Our past will surely haunt us. For you, I'll just be a girl known by everyone. But in fact, known by no one. It's terrible isn't it? The way we throw people away. ****

"You're my betrothed." "Naliligaw ka, Miss." Inis na isasara ko na sana yung pinto ng humarang sya doon. "I don't think so. You're Terry Alcatraz right?" Terry has never been terrified all her life, ngayon lang. As she is now standing infront of a Goddess in the form of this woman with 5'10 height, pinkish white skin na hindi yata sanay sa araw, ash gray hair, at yung malalamlam na mga mata na akala mo laging inaantok. Am I still dreaming? "Sino ka ba?" "I'm your betrothed." Hay nako. May baliw na naman na naligaw. I pity her. Maganda nga. Baliw naman. "You got it wrong. Babae ako, Miss." Tsk. Bibigyan ka na nga lang din ng kapareha. Babae pa na mas maganda sayo at may saltik sa utak. Where's justice? "No. I'm in the right place. We're engaged." "Baliw ka ba?" Asar na tanong ko na sa kanya. Nauubos na ang pasensya ko dahil inaantok pa ko. Nagtatakang tiningnan ako ng mga matang kulay tsokolate na iyon. "Me?" Hinagod pa ako nito ng tingin mula ulo hanggang paa. "Shit, why am I trapped with you? I wonder. I could have atleast chose a better one. My toenails is way more appealing than you!" Ano daw? Sa sobrang inis ko ay hindi ko napigilang hubarin ang suot kong house slippers at batuhin sya niyon. Sino ba naman ang hindi maiinis? Kagigising mo lang ay may kakatok na sa tapat ng pintuan nyo para lang mangtrip. Pagkatapos sasabayan pa ng panglalait. Tila naman umurong lahat ng tapang ko ng mag angat ng tingin mula sa tsinelas na tumama sa pisngi nito ang babaeng iyon na may pares ng kulay tsokolateng mata. She gave me a chillin' smile pagkatapos ay dinampot ang tsinelas ko saka ubod ng lakas na binato din sakin yung tsinelas ko. Fudge! My pretty face! "There, we're quits. That's what engaged people do. They give and take." pagkatapos ay ngumiti ng pagkatamis tamis na akala mo santita. "Hmm. Bakit parang mas maganda pa sayo yung slippers mo? You could have bought a face too." Ano daw? Papatayin ko talaga tong baliw na babaeng ito. ***

"What makes you think you're already in love? You haven't even met that Zero." Natawa naman ako sa kaibigan kong si Leigh habang inaayos ko yung sintas ng sapatos ko. "Why Leigh? Do you fall in love at first sight? Hindi naman din di ba? Saka sabi mo, fall in love with the character. That's why I think I'm falling for this Zero." "You don't even know him yet, Van." "Exactly. Kaya nga ako naeexcite e. It seems that we don't know each other yet. But we can already feel the connection as if we've known each other for a long time." Natahimik naman ito doon. Pagkatapos ay sinimulan na din magpalit ng jersey. "Just slow down. You might find yourself breaking. Mamaya gamitin ka lang nyan." Umismid naman ako. "Gaya ng mga exes mo? Y'know what's wrong with you, Leigh? Pinangungunahan mo lahat. That's why no one can keep up with your standards." "Hey, I'm just saying if what if he's a psycho? A stalker? A hooker?" Tumawa naman ako dito. She's really paranoid. "Just step out of your safe zone, Leigh. You're already missing the most exciting part of life." "Slowing down isn't always bad, Vanilla." "Yeah, but look at you. Seriously? Continous failed relationships?" "Ikaw din naman a. Why aren't you finding the right one yet?" "I already found him. That's zero. I can feel the connection. He guesses everything about me perfectly. Like all of my favorites and quirks that only you and the girls can tell." I gave her an elated smile. "So, back off. And just be happy for me. Okay?" "What if that's a stalker or a paparazzi that already run a background check with you?" "Ang negative mo, Leigh. Seriously, just fall in love and get a life." Ngumiti ito ng nakakaloko. "Okay, so what will you do if that Zero is a girl?" Natigilan naman ako. "You're not Zero, are you?" "Of course not." Nakahinga naman ako. "As long as it's not you, I'm okay." "Why?" "Because I don't want to end up with a puppet like you. Yikes! A barbie doll of everyone."

"You just make me lose my date just to babysit your house?" I asked my cousin Trance. I almost punch his handsome face if it's not just on that--i can't even tell what it was-that crossed us. "What's that?" I asked my cousin. He looked at the direction that i pointed out and he smiled widely. "It's Samara! She's the kindest neighbor." He beamed and called her.. "Are you crazy? You just told me that--that something is a person-- and 'it' is a she, and now you're saying she's the kindest?" "Wait 'til you see her." "No, i don't need to. Because I'm going now.Just leave it to your craz---" "Who's crazy?" I heard a voice asked. "You!" I spat. But yea, i should have not said anything yet. Because I never thought I would be facing an angel in a red sweatshirt, yellow pants, rainbow knee-length socks, blue sneakers, and wearing a bunny head band--worst, running around the village in the middle of 12 midnight. I guess I have to check my head together with this Strange Stranger.

What we have is just now. As long as she loves me. As long as she wants to be with me. As long as there is 'we'. I love her! But the rainbow is not just a blend of vibrant and bright colors. It doesn't even stay for a long period of time-- just enough for us to see and in a fleet of time is gone, leaving us wondering if it's real. A rainbow doesn't have black and white. It wasn't just like that. Same as love. Same as us. There were times that i want to give her up. Not because my love did fade, rather, my love is too much. Too much that letting her go is the only option left for her to choose me without hesitation, without guilt, freed of lies. I want her to grow, to weigh things as it is. I want her to make me feel that being with me is her choice. I want her to realize that i am hers and that she have to surrender herself to me as well. I want her to love me because that is the way she feels and not because it was the safest way. Being with her is paradise. It was a mixture of colored pastel. It was too vibrant to explain. But at a sudden twist of downs and ups, we are shaking. Loving her has become my weakness. The weakening thought of losing her when I fuck up is too much to run me insane. I'm overreacting perhaps. But being with her, means walking in a narrow-road of heaven. There's no security, no assurance. One wrong move, and I'll be slipping away. Just in the never ending pain of darkness, of solitude, of self-struggle. Loving her has become my addiction. I couldn't get enough of it. But so they say, what's too much can cause harm. Maybe I'm loving her too much that she finds it hard to breathe when i'm around. But yes, it is just a wishful thinking; things that I'll surely not going to say to her because i will never ever earn the courage to say so. We are just nothing but a 'fateful coincidence.'

"Change your clothes." Napatingin ako sa suot ko. It's just a knee-length simple dress. Formal naman para sa meeting namin ngayon kasama ng mga investor nya. Sinundo na nya ako sa unit dahil lagi akong nalelate. "Problema mo ba? I'm decent. It's not my fault that you're just out-fashioned." Sinulyapan ko pa yung suot nyang dark blue pant suit na katerno ng suot nyang white na tops at dark blue blazer. Masyadong conservative tingnan. "Just change your clothes." This time, pautos na iyon. "Ayoko nga. Bakit hindi ikaw ang magpalit ng dam-" Napasinghap ako nang hablutin nya ako palapit sa kanya. "You are utterly indecent." Mahinang bulong pa nito. Pakiramdam ko para akong ipinako sa pwesto ko habang magkadikit kaming dalawa. "Change your clothes or I'll do it for you?" Napalunok muna ako ng ilang beses bago sinalubong yung mga mata nya. I am Alliston Parker, hindi ako natatakot sa kanya. "Change Alli. I don't want to get into trouble tonight." "Trouble?" Itinuro nya ako. "It's a sin to look so tempting and dashing like that, it's not fair." She murmured again under her breath. Nalilitong tiningnan ko si Louella. "Tempting and dashing?" Baliw ba sya? Hindi na nga ako nag-ayos dahil aawayin na naman nya ako pag nahuli kami. Umiling ito na para bang gusto na akong sapakin. "Basta magpalit ka! Ayoko ng ganyang suot mo. Mag-jeans ka na lang. You're not even the one I'm bargaining to them. Make yourself presentable and decent, atleast." Inggitera talaga itong matandang ito. Palibhasa napaglipasan na ng panahon. Yung kagaya kasi nitong malapit ng mawala sa kalendaryo yung naiinsecure sa mga ganitong itsura na gaya ng sakin. "Ibigay mo na kaya sakin yung kailangan ko sayo para tigilan na natin ito? Sarap mo talagang patayin na lang." Bubulong - bulong na sabi ko. Napapikit na lang ako nang maramdaman na lumulutang na ako sa ere. Damn! "Ang dami mong reklamo." Naiiritang sambit nito. "Let me just show you how tempting you look for me." *

And then my soul saw you and it kind of went, "Oh, there you are. I've been looking for you"

"Hanggang ganito na lang ba? Ang tingin mo sakin pamatid ng panandaliang pangangailangan mo?" Iritableng napatingin ako sa pigurang iyon ni Corinne. Si Corinne! Fuck! Bakit ko ba kasi sya dinamay sa gulong ito. "Sinabi ko na sayo nung una pa lang di ba? Stay away from me!" Gigil na singhal ko sa kanya. "Dikit ka ng dikit! Tapos ngayon ako pa lumalabas na masama." Tila matutunaw naman ako ng unti-unting tumulo yung luha sa mga mata niya. "I love you, Aria. Pero kahit ilang beses ko namang sabihin iyon sayo wala lang di ba? Kasi until now hindi mo pa din kayang ibigay yung sarili mo ng buong-buo. Kasi hanggang ngayon nakakulong ka pa din sa kahapon mo. " "Hindi totoo yan.." Nanghihinang napaupo ako. What have I done? Bakit ba paulit ulit ko na lang syang nasasaktan? "I can't save you, Aria." Punung puno ng pait na sabi nya. "I can't save you kasi ayaw mong magpasalo. Hindi lahat sasaktan ka. Kelangan mo din magtiwala na hindi ko kayang saktan ka." Natawa lang ako ng pagak. "Tell me, Corinne. What's holding you back? Akala ko ba mahal mo ko? Bakit hindi mo magawang ibigay ng buo yung sarili mo?" Pinalis ni Corinne yung luhang umaagos sa magkabila niyang pisngi. "Because I know you. I know na pag nakuha mo na ko, Game over na. And I don't want to end everything that we have just because of that. " "Wow!" Napapalatak ako sa kanya. "Now, who have trust issues sa ating dalawa ngayon? " Ngumiti siya ng pilit. Another broken smile. How many times should I break her before she gives me up? "If I give myself to you now, Will you give me your heart?" Fuck! No! I don't know. I really don't know. She can have me. But I know that she can never have my heart.