"The less you care, the happier you are." He turned to face me, his blue eyes dull with traces of betrayal. "No. The less you care, the lonelier you are." - In a world where people have the ability to flip an emotions switch, many people lack feelings and sympathy in general- including Dan Howell after a tragedy strikes and he can't take it. However, he meets Phil Lester, the outgoing flirt with too big of a heart to handle. The two become close, and Dan soon realizes that even with his switch off, he can't deny that Phil is slowly reaching to turn it back on, and Dan can't seem to push his hand away.

*'BEST PHANFICTION' WINNER (FANFICTION AWARDS 2018)* Daniel has anxiety and crumples paper to calm himself down. Phil has ADHD and diminishes hearts to bring himself up.

Dan Howell is a timid boy, who always does as he is told. He was once friends with Phil Lester, the 'bad influence' who soon ditches Dan for the popular group in Year 7. After five years of not talking to each other, they're partnered in a project and Phil's wants to win Dan over just like he has with most of their year. But yet, Dan is determined to find out what Phil is hiding behind his arrogant mask.

Dan is different. He's learned to accept that. Well, as best he can anyway, considering he's never really had much of a choice. It's been this way for as long as he can remember, the constant runaround process of trying to feel normal. His life is built around it, trying to trick both himself and everyone he interacts with into seeing him as your average person. The isolation as he desperately tries to keep others from finding out, the bitterness that wells up inside of him each and every time he's reminded that he'll never be like everyone else, the fear that nothing will ever change. He's fated to be this way forever; a misfit from society. Isolation can only go so far though, so when he's struggling to make ends meet and he's faced with the option of looking into a serious job or taking on a roommate, he opts for what seems like the easier option at the time. It doesn't seem so easy ten failed roommates into the process, or when he sits down at a table to meet with prospect number eleven and ends up with a coffee spilled all over his lap. Potential roommate number eleven, Phil, turns out to be an insufferable optimistic ball of sunshine that Dan wants nothing to do with. His options are running out though, as are the savings he's been using to pay his rent, so he finds himself begrudgingly agreeing to let the other man move in. Neither of them have any way of knowing just what they've gotten themselves into as they shake on the matter, but time will tell.

Dan is a dancer, but it's his best kept secret. Moving to a new college results in new friends, new hobbies and a new outlook in life; but what does it really mean to be human? A series of strange and seemingly unconnected events unfold that all seem to link back to Dan's mysterious new boyfriend. etcetc phan with kickthestickz This story carries some warnings, however they're p much all spoilers except non-graphic violence and injury on one occasion, and non-described minor character death. No major character death and no self harm. Please message me if you think you'll need to know the TWs! To avoid spoilers, you can give me a list of things you don't want to read for whatever reason and I'll let you know if they're in the fic or not :)