"I can sense the smile." "I can feel the smile." "I can telepathically see the smile." "Shut up. I'm not smiling." "Then you're grinning?" "At the thought of your face flushing down my toilet." --- When two sixteen-year-olds, worlds apart as a result of their own personal dysfunctions, meet and fall in love via text messages. [Highest Rank #155 in Short Story]

"Hello?" "Why do '24 hours, 7 days a week' shops have locks on their doors?" "Uh-" "Why is the meaning of life hard to find when we have dictionaries?" "Um perso-" "Why is the word 'abbreviation' so long?" "I dont kno-" "If a cow laughed really hard would milk come out its nose?" "Hey-" "Does a postman deliver his own mail?" "MYSTERY PERSON!" "Yes?" "I don't know the answers to your stupid questions." "Okay then, how's life?" ---------------------------------------- Hello fellow readers! Thank you for clicking on my book, I hope you enjoy it. This book is from my imagination so please don't steal it. Highest ranking in short story: #5 ** this story is completed ** My story is edited but I know it's not perfect. If anyone finds any spelling or grammar mistakes feel free to comment in the comment section. Thank you.

"Hello?" "Um, hey?" "Wait, you don't sound like my Aunt Kathy." "Unless I was miraculously converted into a member of the opposite gender and somehow related to whoever is on the other side of this call, then yeah. I'm not your Aunt Kathy." "Oh, shiitake mushrooms." - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Short Story #1 (19/04/18) 2016 Fiction Awards Finalist © 2015 evethespy. All Rights Reserved.

❝I- what? What are you talking about? Who is this?❞ ❝Well the bathroom stall says that this number is the gateway to a good time, and unless you're trying to say that a bathroom stall is lying to me, I think I need a little more information to be sold. Do you have like a yelp page I could look up? Past customer reviews? How many stars out of five?❞ ❝What are yo- oh my god, I'm going to fucking kill Marie.❞ (alternatively called: a lot of people shit with pens) written in dialogue // cover by xhemmingshugsx

❝Good morning. This is Target, how can I help you?❞ ❝Why do I have the sudden urge to kill my family?❞ ❝...Woah...well...shit. Ma'am, I think you dialed the wrong number.❞ ❝No. I dialed correctly. Are you any help?❞ ❝...No sé qué decir a esta chica loca.❞ In which a girl named Farah calls Target and meets a boy named Chance. Best Rank : #1 in Short Story (8/27/16)