"New Kik Message!" Amazingphil: hello human bean Danisnotonfire: go away I suck at summaries but give this story a try {other celebrities mentioned} ****TRIGGER WARNING****

"I'm sorry..." (trigger warning)

IS YOUR CHILD MENTALLY ILL? ARE THEY CONTAGIOUS? ARE THEY POSSESSED BY SATAN? OR WERE THEY SIMPLY EXPOSED TO TOO MUCH ELLEN DEGENERES??? However this happened, whoever made your precious offspring this way, we assure you THIS. CAMP. CAN. HELP! Just bring your confused teenager here in June and when they come home in August they'll be the perfectly normal, heterosexual, cisgender, son or daughter they were before they became tainted! You might've seen this prompt on your Tumblr feed about a thousand times.