A WATTPAD FEATURED STORY #1 IN HUMOR "SATAN!" Gabby grinned, out of the blue. "Dude, why on earth will you find us a ship name? That too SATAN?" I complained, while Jenny slapped her forehead. * Rebellious, fierce, and outspoken. Samantha Harris is everything you could ask for in a girl. There is nothing stereotypical about her. First benches are not her thing, the last time she topped her exams was years back in her dreams, and she is definitely not a queen-bee. Outcast is what describes her the best. Warning : Do not cuss in front of her. She hates it with a passion. Now meet Trystan Ryder. Suave, charming, narcissistic, flirty - he is everything Samantha hates in a boy. Social rader begins with him. With a smile that can kill a million, he exactly knows how to win hearts. Warning : He cusses a lot. Have you ever wondered what will happen if you are interlocked with a person you just cannot tolerate to do a job? And not just any job, but a babysitting one, to be specific? A lot of chaos, right? That's what happens when Samantha and Trystan are compiled to babysit a three month old. Spending four hours together they do a lot of things - almost burn the owners kitchen, stalk his girlfriends, and lose the baby in WalMart. Wait? Did you expect something more romantic? Well, there is a reason their ship name is SATAN.

5sos jokes, puns, random thoughts, etc ALL ARE MINE unless I say otherwise

"You're our bodyguard? Seriously? You're a girl. She's a girl. She can't protect us. How old are you? Sixteen?" "Michael... she looks like she is about to flip shit. I think you should shut the hell up before you end up on your ass." "Well, your band mate, Luke, is not wrong. For your information, I am twenty-one years old and just because I'm a girl, doesn't mean I can't kick some ass. So, Mr. Clifford, would you like to keep running your mouth?"

We all know these 4 idiots can't protect themselves, especially against bullets and knives. So, their management called up the Xforce. (cover by 4TeenageDirtbagsPls)

Cassie Claire was in for quite the pickle. She and her bevy of BFFs decide to go to the store one morning, but little did she know that she was about to meet one sexy, sexy man. Like in a romance movie, they locked eyes, and the whole world came to a screeching halt. What happened next wasn't as similar to a romance movie. He put a gun to her head And kidnapped her.

"You're an asshole," I blurted. "You're such an asshole that your actual asshole is jealous." Silence. What the hell did I just say? Out of all the insults, I choose one that makes the least sense? Damn it, why couldn't I just have been born normal... Wait, never mind. Psh, screw sanity. "Can we keep her?" Tyler suddenly says, bouncing on his tippy toes. "Please, Keith? Can we keep her? Huh, huh, huh?" What am I, a pet? "Keith" whipped his head towards Tyler so fast I could've sworn I heard a crack. "Keep her?" he echoed. "No, Tyler, we can not keep her." Thank you. "She's utterly useless to us, and you want to keep her?" I gasped, placing a hand over my chest. Useless? Damn, these people are rude as hell. "But," Tyler whined, walking over to me. I tensed all over when he squished my cheeks together. "Look at how adorable she is. She's just so innocent... you'd never suspect anything bad from her." Keith expression changed, to one I knew very well from my experiences with Val. Lightbulb. "Tyler, you are a genius," Keith says. Tyler's hands stop squishing my cheeks. "I am?" "He is?!" everyone else says. Keith doesn't reply, just keeps on grinning wickedly. And suddenly I have a feeling that I am not gonna make it out of here alive. - WARNING: VERY CRINGE WORTHY MATERIAL NOW AVAILABLE TO PURCHASE http://www.lulu.com/shop/angel-zenith/the-gangleader-kidnapped-me/paperback/product-23087208.html Highest Rank: #1 in Humor April 19, 2015 CoAuthor: DreamCreature

"God damn it, Derrick! You're going to get the crap everywhere! Put the diaper in the Diaper Genie!" I yelled, but not loud enough to wake up the rest of the kids in the other room. He groaned, pinching his nose with one hand and throwing the diaper away with the other. "Alright, first step done," I said. "Baby wipes, please," I requested with my hand out. He grabbed the wipes and handed them to me. I looked at him and gave him back the pack of wipes. "Molly told you to do it." "Nuh uh! I am not doing that! It's near his peanut-sized thing!" "Oh. My god." I glared at him. "Give me those," I yanked the wipes out of his hands. Daycares. The last place you would think to hang out with your crush. Thanks to the crazy atmosphere of toddlers running amok and screaming their heads off, the obsessive, Lily Tanners encounters the most unexpected thing that gets her off guard. Will she finally have the dream of being with her crush, Derrick Evans?

|| Highest Rank - #1 in Humor || Aria Daniels has one of the most vivacious personalities ever. She is a crazy teenage girl that is impossibly hard to drag down. So what happens when she finds a letter telling her that her brother has been kidnapped and won't be returned unless she pays sixty thousand dollars? She doesn't follow the rules of the letter and get the money. Oh no, in fact, she breaks into the kidnappers base with a bobby pin, steals their cupcakes, paints their abs with white paint and somehow ends up in London with a room full of gang members and a bright pink gun. This is one hell of a crazy story. ~~~~~ WARNING: This book is weird as fuck. It's no joke, I am telling you now that all the characters might as well be high on drugs the whole time because some of the shit they do makes no sense but I promise it will make you laugh (if not I'll give you a cookie). [COMPLETED] Copyright © by Laylaa Khan