"Take it! Just take it!" I demanded in annoyance, springing my whole body out as I tackled Harry from behind. "For the tenth time I don't want your stupid virginity!"

"My name is Harry, nice to meet you mamacita," he looked me up and down before grabbing my hand and shaking it. My arm flopped like a flimsy noodle as he shook my hand quickly and firmly. "The name is Maria. Not mami, not mamacita, not 'yo'," I deadpanned, referring to the names he had called me earlier. I cautiously pulled my hand away from his tattooed one as he smirked before saying, "Got it Mami Maria," before taking his black lip ring between his teeth. +++ A book in which a woman meets a beautiful man, who just so happens to annoy her in the least bit and he just so happens to work at Walmart. Except he doesn't actually work at Walmart... Rather he's an undercover bodyguard, working to protect her from the mafia that's after her family. But what you don't know doesn't hurt you, right? Started on: February 26th, 2017 Completed on: August 5th, 2017 Highest Rank: #543 in Humour, #691 in Fanfiction All rights reserved and protected under the copyright laws.

"You're an asshole," I blurted. "You're such an asshole that your actual asshole is jealous." Silence. What the hell did I just say? Out of all the insults, I choose one that makes the least sense? Damn it, why couldn't I just have been born normal... Wait, never mind. Psh, screw sanity. "Can we keep her?" Tyler suddenly says, bouncing on his tippy toes. "Please, Keith? Can we keep her? Huh, huh, huh?" What am I, a pet? "Keith" whipped his head towards Tyler so fast I could've sworn I heard a crack. "Keep her?" he echoed. "No, Tyler, we can not keep her." Thank you. "She's utterly useless to us, and you want to keep her?" I gasped, placing a hand over my chest. Useless? Damn, these people are rude as hell. "But," Tyler whined, walking over to me. I tensed all over when he squished my cheeks together. "Look at how adorable she is. She's just so innocent... you'd never suspect anything bad from her." Keith expression changed, to one I knew very well from my experiences with Val. Lightbulb. "Tyler, you are a genius," Keith says. Tyler's hands stop squishing my cheeks. "I am?" "He is?!" everyone else says. Keith doesn't reply, just keeps on grinning wickedly. And suddenly I have a feeling that I am not gonna make it out of here alive. - WARNING: VERY CRINGE WORTHY MATERIAL NOW AVAILABLE TO PURCHASE http://www.lulu.com/shop/angel-zenith/the-gangleader-kidnapped-me/paperback/product-23087208.html Highest Rank: #1 in Humor April 19, 2015 CoAuthor: DreamCreature