🏆2017 WATTY AWARD WINNER 🥇 Olivia Chastain's life was seemingly perfect until she was violently thrust into a nightmare that would haunt her for years to come. Kidnapped by a sadistic murderer, Olivia is subjected to atrocities she'll never be able to erase from her memory. When she's inexplicably released from his grip, horrifying flashbacks plague her every waking moment, but that's not the worst of what she's forced to contend with - the masked madman roams free, preying on other unsuspecting souls. As the days pass, the deviant's reign of terror grows more and more grotesque. As the only surviving victim, Olivia fears he'll find her and finish what he started. Will the authorities catch the elusive psychopath before he strikes again?

The title says it all! These post will inspire you, make you laugh and cry, and well, uh, in my case, want to kill somebody :P. Enjoy!

Collection of 'Funny Text Bloopers'.

Voted "Most Likely to Join the Circus" consecutively by Killian High's past three 2009-2011 published yearbooks, and as said by practically every person in the entire school, Derek Wells is the school's ultimate class clown. Seriously, if you're ever in need of a good laugh just go to him and he'll have you clapping your hands and shaking with quiet laughter like some dumb seal. The biggest joke of all to him was love. What was that? It was just some mushy, four-letter word that somehow could make a girl either swoon or cry or slap you in the face depending on the circumstances. So when Derek puts on his newly-acquired glasses for the first time in school, he doesn't expect to see Gwen, one of his closest friends, in a completely different light. Suddenly when she smiles, it feels as if something is crawling around in his stomach and he isn't sure if it's the suspicious crab he had for dinner the night before or gas. When Derek confesses his feelings to her, of course she's going to take it as one big joke. It seems that "the funniest kid in the school" can't say those three words without having someone wait expectantly for the punch line. Will Derek prove to Gwen that he can be serious when he needs to be? Or will she just wind up laughing in his face?

Against the advice of every chef, I never taste my food when I cook. It is a part of the culture I grew up in. See what happens when I try to explain it to a trained French chef..... Read this and other stories! I will be posting a couple of times a week for the next few weeks starting March 24th 2014

*Watty Winner* & *Featured Story* WITCHES - NECROMANCERS - INAPPROPRIATE TABLE MANNERS. The three-hundred-year-old town of Loon Lake looks calm as a pond, but below the surface, clans of witches and wizards clash like hungry sharks. First-year student Tonya isn't privy to her family's darkest secrets, but when campus is overrun by a deadly eating epidemic, only she can resist the hidden, mind-controlling entity behind it. Meanwhile, Tonya's new friends, artist Priya, and Digital Ninjas Drake and Zain, want to create the creepiest art installation Loon Lake Cemetery will ever know. Too bad what's lurking in the graveyard is deadly. Untrained and overmatched by occult conspirators, Tonya will need to develop magical abilities she never knew she had. Can she uncover the mystery behind the epidemic and save her town? Winner of the coveted Watty Award, supernatural thriller Feeding Frenzy is a witch's brew of intrigue with a dollop of comedy, a teaspoon of romance, and a pinch of horror. Readers say: "It's been an amazing ride! ...I've loved every minute of it!" -J. L. Weaver, author of the Penderry's Bizarre series (England) "A great ending! Loved it!" -Denise Murdoch (USA) "Just when you think there won't be any more surprises, Maaja Wentz throws us for a loop." "It's like I'm infected and you're food because I NEED MORE." -Helaine Duvenhage (South Africa) "...great novel - it has been so much fun to read! The ending wrapped things up nicely, but it begs for a sequel. With Tonya's discovery of her powers and the hints at this Loon Lake magic community...it feels like there is much more to come for Tonya and the gang." -David J. Thirteen (Canada) Zombie...meet cake. Take a spooky town, a food obsession and wrap it all up in a wee bit of @MaajaWentz creepy, ghoul-tainted humor and you end up with the kaleidoscope that is Feeding Frenzy. -Jetta Frame for WattZombie reviews (Wattpad) Vote, comment, and tell friends about FEEDING FRENZY. I'd love to hear from you.

So this story is about Marine Corps bootcamp. I wrote it years ago, when I was still very new to writing. It's probably one of my first creative pieces of writing. I should go back and edit it now that I know so much more, but I left it as is, maybe because it was fresher in my mind then than now, and even though I'd like to think I'm a much more developed writer now, I feel it's that it's most authentic the way it is, unchanged. I tried to put the reader in bootcamp in this story, on the yellow footprints themselves, Let's see if it worked.

Are you MUTANT? Or are you PURE? On scorched earth, you can’t be both. Healer. Shape-shifter. Telekinetic. Time decelerator. Mind-controller. Rush has grown up believing that he’s just another mutant. The truth? He’s an illegal experiment. One of five rescued from a lab 13 years ago. He should be dead. But the secret’s out. Alone he is a moving target. Together, they’re a weapon – with the power to bring down the government. Unless the government gets them first . . .

New York Times and USA Today bestselling author Joshua Graham teams up with bestselling author Jack Patterson for an alternate history saga that will rock your mind. "A clever, imaginative tale of what if, rooted in secrets, believable and evocative, that will keep you guessing." —Steve Berry, New York Times bestselling author of The Patriot Threat “…Pure genius… the most intriguing book I’ve read in a long time…” —Suspense Magazine From the back cover: THE FÜHRER'S DAUGHTER In 1944, Adolf Hitler dispatched a pair of Horten H.XVIIIs to drop atomic bombs on Manhattan and Chicago. The unconditional surrender of the majority of the United States of America followed, bringing the Second World War to an abrupt end. Seventy years after the end of World War II, in which the Hitler-led Axis powers took control of most of the planet, the German Empire has essentially erased the very memory of the United States of America from history. Raised as a child of the Aryan States of America, a Utopian society built upon Nazi ideals, Grace Drexler—daughter of Hans Drexler, the American Führer—lives a privileged life as a model citizen and member of the Nazi party. But when a shocking discovery shatters her very grasp of reality, she unravels a truth that has been hidden not only from her, but several generations of Aryan-Americans as well—a dangerous truth that could bring about a revolution and the collapse of government and society. Now an inadvertent threat, Grace must flee her home and life as she knows it not only to stay alive, but to learn the truth about herself, and realize her destiny to change the world. The Führer's Daughter is a suspenseful alternate history thriller. With an epic sweep of Biblical proportion, it resounds with the timeless human struggles for freedom, and triumph over evil.

Elle grew up believing that myths and magic were confined to the realm of make-believe, never suspecting she was part of a hidden world of wonder and danger. On the night of her twenty-first birthday, Elle's ordinary life shatters when she uncovers an ancient prophecy that entwines her fate with every fairy tale ever told-she must marry the malevolent god, Jack Frost. Suddenly thrust into a realm where immortal gods and monsters reign, Elle is forced to navigate a world she never knew existed. Reluctantly, she must ally with Jack, a man she is desperate to avoid. Neither of them is thrilled about the impending marriage, but as dark plots and secrets emerge, Elle and Jack find themselves drawn together by forces beyond their control. With threats mounting and fate closing in, Elle must confront her destiny, knowing that defying it could lead to her demise. As they stand united against a world of peril, Elle must find the courage to face a future that seems to offer only one grim outcome: death. __________________________ Cover by Aphrodite270 Highest rankings: #1 Adventure/#1 Fantasy