Some dude falls into another world and decides he'd rather live as the Heroine than go out and fight to death as the Hero. He might have changed his mind if he'd read the terms and conditions, though. (crossposted to NUF and RRL)

Misunderstood and overmedicated, twelve-year-old Lilith Bloom finds the prospect of a grand family reunion decidedly dull... That is, until she discovers that the rose garden surrounding her grandfather's Berlin mansion is, well, completely and utterly carnivorous. Armed with Panther, her talking pet whippet, and the help of the mute boy next door, Lilith must unravel the secrets behind the mysterious estate, all while her family remains gloriously unaware that they are about to be devoured.