Broken Man 6: The Bastard's Downfall
awsmbi
Being insecure can be a crippling experience, especially when it drives away the person you love.
The agony of not giving my girlfriend enough attention while dealing with my own demons is unbearable. I can feel the distance growing between me and my once-close partner, and it hurts more than words can describe.
My insecurity stems from a deep-seated belief that I am not good enough, that I am a disappointment to those around me. I have always felt like the black sheep of the family, the never-seen son. I've always wondered why I never measure up, but now I know the reason, and it's a betrayal that cuts to my core.
The pain of realizing that I am a secret shame my family kept from me, is excruciating. I can't accept it, and I feel like a bastard, unworthy of anyone's love, especially Coachella's. She's everything I am not, and I can't bear the thought of tarnishing her perfect life with my tainted presence. I fear that if I stick with her, I'll only end up making her feel the way I made my mother feel, like a failure. So, I pushed her away, unable to see that I'm only hurting her more.
"You are such a bastard asshole, Izo!"
I am though...
Funny how I just learned that I am a bastard. And hearing it from her mouth... is the downfall of me.
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