Funny texts from the Harry Potter characters!

Even more, funnier texts from the Harry Potter characters!

|| Highest Rank - #1 in Humor || Aria Daniels has one of the most vivacious personalities ever. She is a crazy teenage girl that is impossibly hard to drag down. So what happens when she finds a letter telling her that her brother has been kidnapped and won't be returned unless she pays sixty thousand dollars? She doesn't follow the rules of the letter and get the money. Oh no, in fact, she breaks into the kidnappers base with a bobby pin, steals their cupcakes, paints their abs with white paint and somehow ends up in London with a room full of gang members and a bright pink gun. This is one hell of a crazy story. ~~~~~ WARNING: This book is weird as fuck. It's no joke, I am telling you now that all the characters might as well be high on drugs the whole time because some of the shit they do makes no sense but I promise it will make you laugh (if not I'll give you a cookie). [COMPLETED] Copyright © by Laylaa Khan

"You're an asshole," I blurted. "You're such an asshole that your actual asshole is jealous." Silence. What the hell did I just say? Out of all the insults, I choose one that makes the least sense? Damn it, why couldn't I just have been born normal... Wait, never mind. Psh, screw sanity. "Can we keep her?" Tyler suddenly says, bouncing on his tippy toes. "Please, Keith? Can we keep her? Huh, huh, huh?" What am I, a pet? "Keith" whipped his head towards Tyler so fast I could've sworn I heard a crack. "Keep her?" he echoed. "No, Tyler, we can not keep her." Thank you. "She's utterly useless to us, and you want to keep her?" I gasped, placing a hand over my chest. Useless? Damn, these people are rude as hell. "But," Tyler whined, walking over to me. I tensed all over when he squished my cheeks together. "Look at how adorable she is. She's just so innocent... you'd never suspect anything bad from her." Keith expression changed, to one I knew very well from my experiences with Val. Lightbulb. "Tyler, you are a genius," Keith says. Tyler's hands stop squishing my cheeks. "I am?" "He is?!" everyone else says. Keith doesn't reply, just keeps on grinning wickedly. And suddenly I have a feeling that I am not gonna make it out of here alive. - WARNING: VERY CRINGE WORTHY MATERIAL NOW AVAILABLE TO PURCHASE http://www.lulu.com/shop/angel-zenith/the-gangleader-kidnapped-me/paperback/product-23087208.html Highest Rank: #1 in Humor April 19, 2015 CoAuthor: DreamCreature

In which Summer Chase, an asian pizza delivery girl, gets torn up between two billionaires trying to best each other. "I'm just here to deliver pizza!" Alex shrugs. Handsome. "I know. But it'll be better if your service comes with an option to irritate my annoying cousin." I swear if he ever decides to smile, I'll be done. Done. "Such as?" He smiles. Goody. "Take one slice of his pizza and feed it to me." He seems to forget that his cousin, Cameron Lee, is notorious for his temper and tantrums. I seriously think that Alex Malifeci is trying to kill me. One way or another. <The Quirky Tale of April Hale spinoff> <Part of the Quirky Series> <Can be read as a Standalone> → Full summary inside → It's better than it sounds. Give it a chance xoxo