They're worlds apart, and this isn't high school, so how the hell did a homeless female writer end up renting a billionaire's mansion? And - hold your breath - becoming his fake girlfriend? ➳ full blurb inside ➳ first reached #1 in humor on july 6, 2015 ➳ first reached #1 in business on august 29, 2023 ➳ winner of best humor book in the fiction awards 2016 ➳ featured by cadbury (marvellous creations) and secret lives of the americans (pivot) P.S. This is a SATIRICAL BILDUNGSROMAN. Proceed with caution. (cover by @glueeater)

"For a broken heart, the limit for revenge . . . does not exist." __________________________ What happens when you get caught breaking garden gnomes and throwing eggs at your sister's ex-boyfriend's house? In Helen's case, she gets stuck with Nolan Milesblue, the revenge-driven high school outsider who wants to destroy every couple he sees. He won't hand the photos of her vandalizing property over to her until she helps break up seven couples in the community. Helen is blackmailed into sabotaging happy relationships, and forced to face wrath of angry boyfriends (& girlfriends), pies to face, blows to ego, punishment from Kay Pal, etc. All because these are not just any couples. It's all the girls that Nolan ever dated.