This isn't love. This is just sex. This is just attention. Matty tells himself that's just what he needs. Just moments in which he can forget, in which the world blurs out and he doesn't have to focus on everything so very wrong with both his mind and his body. It's like getting drunk without the hangover, in his mind it's the perfect solution to the boy who could never love him back. He's just not quite sure whether that boy is just George, or himself too. No kind of high, physical or emotional, could possibly take all his problems away, but he's content enough with those moments, even if he always loses much more of himself than just the worst kind of thoughts. [Genderfluid Matty] [Warnings for mentions/refrences to drug abuse, manipulative relationships, dysphoria, drunk sex, dubious consent, and very bad self care] [Those things don't relate to matty and george's relationship btw] [Cover art drawn by me]

Matty's not co-dependent, exactly, just very attached, and he's coping, and it's not like anything's happened, except so much happened all at once, because George is allowed to have girlfriends, because Matty and George were never exclusive, they were never anything really, it's just that Matty would like to think that there was something, and that that something was more than wishful thinking, but he reckons it's too late for that now. And it was bad enough seeing George kiss her. Maybe it would have been fine if he'd just reacted like a normal person about it, but no, Matty didn't speak to anyone for days, and George moved out to live with her, like Matty can blame him, and Matty's had what is easily the most depressing four months of his life, because it's come to the point where he's pretty sure he hates George, except, he doesn't, not really, because it's Matty's fault, if anyone's, even though he's yet to get his head around it. But then before Matty really knows what's happening George has broken up with his girlfriend, and needs somewhere to stay for a while before he can sort things out, and Ross is just kind enough to volunteer Matty's house - he has a spare room, after all. It used to be George's room, after all.

Matty doesn't know what's going on with gender, and George doesn't know anything except for how to smoke weed.

"Are you scared?" Ross asked Matty after they pulled up in front of the small shop, his dark eyes seeking Matty's out as he leaned on the door in preparation. "No," Matty huffed, hoping that Ross didn't catch onto the falsity he could clearly hear in his own tone. "Maybe a bit nervous though." ~~~ Based on the Robbers music video *trigger warning for mentions of abuse, mentions of suicide, guns, violence, and drug use* Completed

George didn't expect much of his life. He come to be rather complacent with the ways things had turned out to be. He wasn't unhappy, per se, just very uninspired by the world around him. He found himself with little more than vague enthusiasm towards a select few things in his life. Perhaps he'd thought he was okay with that, and that he'd live his life amounting to very little at all. Perhaps he really had thought that, but that was before he'd met Matty. Matty didn't expect much of himself. He'd fall out of trust with the world, and came to bury the person he'd once been deep inside himself, under a mess of arrogance and over spoken ideas about the way things should be. Everything was bullshit - love, family, being a 'functioning member of society', and perhaps it didn't look like he was ever going to get far with his life. Perhaps he'd thought he was okay with that: with locking up who he really was inside everything he'd wanted to be. Perhaps he really had believed that, but that was before he'd met George. Neither of them had much cared for change, but the thing was that change never did stop to ask for your opinion before it happened.

He was a wide eyed, halfway living boy, who looked pretty in the winter light, but was just another dandelion in the spring. And then he fell in love. He always did. [ 80s AU / matty works in a bookstore and he's a cute lil sweater nerd / george is this outrageous infamous punk boy who thinks he doesn't have feelings / he does / matty gives him a fucking run for his money ] [ COMPLETED ]