Sick of cliché Wattpad books? Then this isn't the book for you. We take every single over-used plot, character and trope on Wattpad - from player-meets-nerd to my-boyfriend-is-a-vampire - and mash it all into one, awful, hilarious parody. NOTE: This is a parody. Characters have not been created to mock a race/nationality/sexuality, they have been created to lightly poke fun at the way certain teen fiction writers reduce them into crude stereotypes. Thanks for helping this pile of junk get to #1 in Humor!

"You are MINE." He growls out, trapping me against the cool counter, the spoon immediately falling out of my hands- creating a crash on the floor. His big hard body covers mine like a sweater, His thick blonde hair running against my chin as he dips his head down to my chest. "Who do you belong to?" He whispers in a deathly taunt. Shivers cover my body as I squeeze my brown eyes tight and with all my might, push him off me. He stumbles back a little bit looking up with dark eyes full of lust and anger. "Not you." I reply. My eyes narrowed at his hazel ones, trying to ignore the heat that went off me as he left. "I guess I'm going to have to teach you a little lesson then." His voice coming out deeper then ever. Fear leaks into me as I notice the sly smirk that forms on his face. "This will be fun." He blurts out, before he lunges for me. ~*~ Christmas is for fun and laughter, opening presents, giving, and spending time with your family. Who would of thought I would be spending MY Christmas, the most important day of the year, being kidnapped by a sexy hunk in Santa boxers. Definitely not me.

Every half century in a small little town hidden in the woods, a beast comes out from the forest to claim his bride on the night of an eclipse. The people of call this phenomenon "the taking". This beast is said to be very dangerous. It roams door to door searching for the woman whose being calls to his animal instincts. He will kill, mutilate and destroy everything in his path until he finds his bride. In the past, the townsmen have tried to hunt the creature and kill him before they can steal one of their marriageable daughters, but the beast does not hunt alone. He has followers among the shadows to make sure his goal is accomplished. Once he finds his bride, he carries her back to the forest where she is never seen or heard from again. Celeste believes this so-called "legend" is just some scary fairytale her grandmother made up to scare her. But was she ever wrong when a pair of moonlit eyes stared straight at her through her bedroom window and entered her room. Next thing she knew, she was being carried out the house and into the woods by a half-naked man who called her his. Who would have thought? Grandma wasn't crazy after all. Young Adult novel. Paranormal/Comedy-Romance @2014

She grew up in a world different from his. While he conquered battles, she read books and studied history. While he led an entire pack of wolves, she drowned in knowledge about the realm they live in. While lives hang in his shoulder, she was taught not to associate with any of his kind. But they knew all too well to know that fate does not work like that, and people who are destined for one another, will meet no matter how big the differences between them are. --

He was powerful. He was terrifying. Said to be cruel and unjust. Terrifyingly possessive. He had the world, but to him she was his world. There was nothing he wouldn't do for his miraculum.

"You're an asshole," I blurted. "You're such an asshole that your actual asshole is jealous." Silence. What the hell did I just say? Out of all the insults, I choose one that makes the least sense? Damn it, why couldn't I just have been born normal... Wait, never mind. Psh, screw sanity. "Can we keep her?" Tyler suddenly says, bouncing on his tippy toes. "Please, Keith? Can we keep her? Huh, huh, huh?" What am I, a pet? "Keith" whipped his head towards Tyler so fast I could've sworn I heard a crack. "Keep her?" he echoed. "No, Tyler, we can not keep her." Thank you. "She's utterly useless to us, and you want to keep her?" I gasped, placing a hand over my chest. Useless? Damn, these people are rude as hell. "But," Tyler whined, walking over to me. I tensed all over when he squished my cheeks together. "Look at how adorable she is. She's just so innocent... you'd never suspect anything bad from her." Keith expression changed, to one I knew very well from my experiences with Val. Lightbulb. "Tyler, you are a genius," Keith says. Tyler's hands stop squishing my cheeks. "I am?" "He is?!" everyone else says. Keith doesn't reply, just keeps on grinning wickedly. And suddenly I have a feeling that I am not gonna make it out of here alive. - WARNING: VERY CRINGE WORTHY MATERIAL NOW AVAILABLE TO PURCHASE http://www.lulu.com/shop/angel-zenith/the-gangleader-kidnapped-me/paperback/product-23087208.html Highest Rank: #1 in Humor April 19, 2015 CoAuthor: DreamCreature

Flowers and thorns couldn't be further apart in their beauty, and yet the same in unification. The thorns protect the flowers so it can thrive. Apollyon is the thorn and Lilith is the flower - both so far apart and yet both on the same course of fate. 🌟 Highest Ranked: #215 First chapter published on 14/05/17 Discontinued on 23/07/18

this story contains adult content!!!! read at own risk. I glared at the vampire before me, pressing myself against the bars of my 'cage' before dropping the glare and offering him my sweetest grin, "once I get out of her I'm going to kill alllll of you!" I swept my arms out wide, my grin turning feral, "I'm going to rip out all of your throats and see how you like your blood being drained from your neck." The vampire flashed his fangs at me in an equally menacing grin, "you can try that all you want, after the auction." I was tempted to spit in his face but I really did not want to be whipped...again. ~~~ Calla, an 18 year old human girl has always lived her life on the run, but was captured by vampires and forced into auction at a high end 'pet shop' where any wealthy vampire can buy her and proceed to do as they please until they decide to kill her. Pessimistic, rude, and short fused Calla is one hell of a handful, one most vampier's don't want to bother with...until him. THIS SHIT IS RATED MATURE in case you were curious this isn't labeled Mature on the wattpad rating thing because it won't let me change my fucking maturity thing.

Warning: Mature Audiences Only! -Strong Sexual Content -R-rated language -Adult situation COMPLETED #1 in Romance on 1/20/21 #1 in Mafia on 2/12/23 #1 in Fiction on 2/21/21 *** DESCRIPTION: The only thing that was mine, the only thing that was truly beautiful in this world, and he will never find me... "How much?" I frowned at the shadowed man, in an expensive looking car. "Excuse me? I don't understand..." realization dawned on me, as I looked at my skimpy club attire. I raised my hands, "I-I'm not a prostitute." I felt his dark eyes analyzing me and suddenly I was aware of the situation. I began backing up, as panic washed through me. "Get in the car." His growl came, and with that, I turned on my heels and ran. *** Calla Levkin didn't want to go out clubbing for her 18th birthday. She didn't want her friends to dress her in slutty attire. She didn't want to be mistaken as a prostitute. She didn't want to be kidnapped and sold into the Mafia. And most of all, she didn't want to catch the attention of Sinister Velkov, the first in command of the Russian Mafia. But life can't give you everything that you want...sometimes life gives you just the opposite. *** Completed on 4/7/18 This is book one in the "I Am Not A Prostitute" series! Book two is "Come Back To Me" REVIEWS: "I have been reading Wattpad books for 5 years, and never have i found a book with so much humor and passion. I have instantly fell in love with the characters. This book is filled to the brim with emotion, action, and SMUT!! I will definitely be purchasing my own copy when it's released on amazon!" -@trinityxo30 "A raw and beautiful piece of art that will keep you on the edge of your seat" -@o0krysralized0o "A brilliantly captivating story. Written by an author that takes her time to respond and care for her readers." -@eirinnobrien "My favorite book on Wattpad, beautifully written, makes me cry, laugh, and scream all at the same time fav book ." -@satanchick