Just a bunch of funny texts and jokes. I've gotten them online and offline.

Unlimited funny jokes guaranteed to make your day! Credits to whoever made these jokes.

The world from the mind of a teenage pervert

It's you, May. You're what I want forever. [COMPLETE] achievements: #1 in fanfiction

Isabella finds out that the man she thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with, had not only dumped her to marry another but also to find out she is pregnant with his child. Isabella is in her final year in college and if life wasn't already throwing enough obstacles in her path what happens when a man comes on to the scene making her already messed up life even more confusing. Read on to find out more........

"Do you really want me, all of me? I'm not like other werewolves or vampires. I can't mark you, I can't fully shift into wolf form, I have a beast inside of me, Genevieve. Is that what you really want?" *****Best Ranking: #1 Vampire 5/13/2015 **** ((ROUGH DRAFT))

When Alexis agrees to help the school's player, she must guard the secret that could unravel everything - even as unexpected feelings complicate the game. *** What happens when Alexis Dawson, the 'resident loser' of Redwood High, agrees to help the school's notorious player, Aaron Walker? How can she stop herself from falling for him? It isn't all love and romance - Alexis has a secret of her own. Join them on a journey of jealousy, betrayal, trust, friendship, and love. A little favour just got a whole lot more complicated. *** He was so close, his breath hit my lips. His eyes darted from my eyes to my lips. I stared intently, awaiting his next move. His lips fell near my ear. "Shut up and kiss me" He whispered roughly. A chill shot up my spine. I pulled back, staring at his eyes and leaned in...

Perfect Illusion is the FIRST book in the Perfect series, followed by the soon-to-be released film PERFECT ADDICTION. Published as an ebook/ on kindle ***** When college student Alex Woods agrees to a fake engagement plot to save her parents' company from bankruptcy, the last thing she expects is to fall for the illusion herself. ***** Alex Woods thinks college will be a fresh start, but when her parents announce their business has gone bankrupt, all of her plans come crashing down. The company has been saved by a wealthy business owner, but it comes with a condition: Alex has to pretend to be engaged to his son, Daniel, for the next 3 years. Daniel Kerrington is 100% swoonworthy, but Alex knows that beneath those killer good looks is a poisonous personality, and Daniel has made it clear the hatred is mutual. Though they've been thrown together with the person they each loathe the most, Alex and Daniel have to make their engagement believable. And as it turns out, the line between love and hate really is very, very thin. [[word count: 100,000 - 150,000]] Cover designed by Ren T Book 1 of the Perfect series

Faith Mitchell was never confident. She was happy to blend into the background, much to the protest of her friends. At 16, her life was a normal teenage cliche. She was in love with Jace, the obnoxious player who she couldn't have, and her biggest worry was whether or not he would finally come to his senses and see that she really was the one for him. That is until she is kidnapped and recruited by a secret agency of assassins. She is torn away from her normal teenage life and thrown into a world of guns, knifes and criminals. The agency mold her into the perfect killing machine, and at 19 she is no longer the shy girl that was snatched away from her uncomplicated life, but a ruthless killer who will stop at nothing to complete whatever mission she is on. Then, the agency has a new mission which involves Faith returning to her hometown, and facing her friends, family and the very boy who broke her heart just before it turned into stone. What will happen once Faith comes face to face with Jace? Will the obnoxious player be able to reach out and get the old Faith back without pressing any of her wrong buttons, considering that the shy girl he once knew now has a gun. (WATTY AWARDS 2011) (THE FICTION AWARDS 2017) ©makeandoffer