They're worlds apart, and this isn't high school, so how the hell did a homeless female writer end up renting a billionaire's mansion? And - hold your breath - becoming his fake girlfriend? ➳ full blurb inside ➳ first reached #1 in humor on july 6, 2015 ➳ first reached #1 in business on august 29, 2023 ➳ winner of best humor book in the fiction awards 2016 ➳ featured by cadbury (marvellous creations) and secret lives of the americans (pivot) P.S. This is a SATIRICAL BILDUNGSROMAN. Proceed with caution. (cover by @glueeater)

I took a deep breath."Antonio I...I'm pregnant."His smile suddenly faded and his brown eyes turned darker by the second. He removed my hands from his."She was right. I can't believe that manipulative bitch was right I thought you were different. I thought you weren't like that."I looked at him in confusion. "What the hell are you talking about Antonio?"I asked him without beating around the bush. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. You used and trapped me all at once and like the idiot I was. I allowed you to."He yelled, with venom lacing his words."I don't want to see you and I don't want anything to do with that thing inside of you."I was on the verge of tears but didn't want to show him that."I want all your things gone when I return home." **** Venus Angelopolis is forced into a marriage for her brother's life because of a feud that started years ago between the two families. When she meets Antonio she wants nothing to do with him especially after he admits commitment is not for him but things take a turn one drunken night which results in an unexpected pregnancy. Antonio De Vaio finest, youngest, and most successful bachelor of New York claims that love isn't anywhere to be found in his long and complicated book. Seeing Venus for the first time caused him to misjudge her drastically so he lays down his rules from the start but when his brother Luca returns with a magnetic attraction towards Venus one drunken night Antonio begins to see a side to her that wasn't there before which causes his point of view towards her to change immensely.

"Marry me?" "You've got to be joking?"She chuckled, causing her sea green eyes to glimmer. I smirked,"No I'm dead serious."I claimed and her smile faded as her eyes turned a shade darker. "Clearly your crazy or some fuse back there in that small ass brain of yours has broken."She whisper yelled, glaring at me."What happened to I'm mister anti commitment?"She created a mock deep voice while lifting her shoulders slightly. I was guessing she was mocking me. "Yeah, that's exactly why I'm asking your hand in marriage.......temporarily,"I added and she turned her head in the other direction. *************************** Germany Willows is your typical loving goody too shoes.She plays by the rules and always gets the job done well that was until she applied for a scriptwriters job but was faced with a horrifying realization. Being raised in a household full of women Marcus Grey could pull himself out of any situation at any time and still look charming doing it, at least that was the case until his mother threatened to take the CEO position right from under him if he didn't find a wife within the next six months. When his only female friend Germany, more likely the girl who still hasn't fallen for his impeccable good looks, comes to him with her situation what better than marriage to hit two birds with one stone. But the minute Marcus proposes to Germany he begins seeing her in a different light and feelings he has never felt before in his 31 years of existing begin sprouting.