Are you ready for the best book you have ever read in the entire world???? Well your in the wrong place. I'm kidding. If you want jokes that make you roll on the floor laughing then here is your place. Make sure to comment, vote, obviously read and stay fantastic and awesome!!!! DISCLAIMER - THESE ARENT MINE Make sure to go and read Texts and Comebacks for more jokes!!!!!

"Losing yourself is the easy part, it's finding yourself again that's hard." *** Hollywood. When you think of the word, you think of glitz, glam, and perfection. You think of rich and flawless people who are admired by all. But everyone knows Hollywood has a dark side. Anastasia Claire ran. Ran from the pain of everything. She left her family and friends after giving up and became someone new. She became the world famous Whitney Winters. But when her manager tells her she has to visit her old high school where her worst moments were, Whitney has to face everything she ran from. Her crush, her friends, her family, and her bullies. Can she keep her head high? Can she face them? And can she maintain her flawless act?

❝say hi, this is your new babysitter❞ ❝hey, i am calum. wanna fuck?❞ started: 5-7-2015

"𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋 𝐇𝐀𝐒 𝐀𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐅 𝐆𝐎𝐃𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐒, 𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐅 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐋" Delphinium Tesla is anything but the normal girl she pretends she is, especially not with the power of telekinesis behind her fingertips. Haunting her nightmares are memories of the evil organization that trained her to be a murdering assassin. One of her worst fears comes to life when she is captured by a government organization and forced into a team with seven other enhanced individuals. Along with a strongman, two orphans, one healer, a charming criminal, a slight lunatic and a crime lord, she must take out a rising evil that is killing innocent people for an unknown purpose. This group of criminals have to come together if they have any hope of surviving to unravel the mystery that is not as it seems. But they all must beware: a few of the team members are far more dangerous than they let on. Together, they will endure lies, betrayal and treachery. Ultimately, Delphinium and her crew will have to ask: "Can the past really stay in the past?" Eventually, the truth will emerge... 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐒𝐀𝐈𝐃: "I've never really read anything like this before. And as a first-timer, I fell in love with it. Hard. I'm so glad I chose to read this book because it satisfies me in so many ways. The author writes such a unique story with such unique aspects and I really hope that people take the leap of faith to read it." "Bizarre, action-filled, funny, heart-thumping and so much more!" "I can't help but put in some time to comment and say what an astounding book you have written, I love it so much that I'm begging lots of people to read it and give it a shot. I know it's not something they'll regret, I for sure didn't. This book will go far!" "This is the best book I've read. Beautiful."

"So anyone have any pets?" I say rather loudly that an old lady turns around and gives me a look as if to say 'go smash your face into a wall multiple times, please'. Ahh don't you just love old ladies? "I have a dog called Jake." Finn kinda grumbles quietly. "OMG YOU GUYS ARE LIKE JAKE AND FINN OF ADVENTURE TIME!" I pretty much scream. "Okay who else has pets?" "I have a younger sister, does that count?" Carlos asks. "I have two and a half cats." States Benny. Aww I love cats I wish I had two and a ha- "WHAT THE HELL, TWO AND A HALF CATS?" I screamed horrified. "Why would some one chop a cat in half? That's so cruel, and why? Like I mea-" "Hey, Hey, I meant two cats and a kitten, not literally two and a half of a cat." Benny says quickly. "Oh that make more sense now." Confusing, weird, sarcastic and crazy are just a few words to describe the beautiful girl named Cassie. Her looks will draw you in but her Craziness will send you running the other way. Her only friend being a sarcastic voice in her head. That is until she meets the gang. What happens when Cassie is mistaken for another girl at her school and gets kidnapped by a gang. How will Cassie handle the awkward Situation? Will she even make it out alive? Probably not. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Hey everyone, I just wanted to warn you about cuss words, bad grammar and Stuff like that. Also please do not copy this idea, I'm warning. you have a choice wether you think it is a good idea or not, not if you do copy the idea I will personally hunt you down then send my army of trained and loyal, ducks. So if you do copy, be 100% prepared for Duck attacks in your near future. Anyways thanks for giving this story a chance. : ) ❤️ Cover by: glimmersnowflakes Go check her out she awesome!

When billionaire bad boy Eros meets shy, nerdy Jade, he doesn't recognize her from his past. Will they be able to look past their secrets and fall in love again? ****** When Jade Collins goes to work for billionaire bad boy Eros Petrakis, all she thinks she'll be doing is making his coffee...but when sparks fly, the shy Jade (who wears a disguise to mask her beauty and the secrets of her past) and the fiery, cocky Eros (who is solely focused on business and doesn't believe in the distractions of love) begin to grow closer and closer. Will Eros be able to see past her disguise to the beauty within? And will Jade be able to tame his heart -- and her own -- once the man of her dreams finally notices her? ****** Officially now a series! Watch it for free on MediaCorp's Youtube Channel- MediaCorp Drama. [[Word Count: 150,000 - 200,000]] The Girl He Never Noticed (Book 1 + 2) by Neilani Alejandrino (Sweetdreamer33) Copyright © 2015. All Rights Reserved.

*Completed* "It was as if he was the sun and I was the Earth. Gravity pulled me toward him, but my fear of getting burned kept me at a distance." Collin King is getting his first taste of fame, but he's not sure he likes it. The music industry controls everything. His music. His personality. His image. His dates. He's sick of it. With the looming deadlines for his next hit single fast approaching, Collin is losing his words. How can he write a song when his inspiration died with his freedom? How can he write when he has no one to write about. Well... that's where Dominik Darling comes in. *Warning. This is a boy×boy novel. If you don't like it, don't read it.* *Started on December 25th* *Finished on February 11th* *#90 in Short Story - 01/24/18* *#78 in Short Story - 01/28/18* *#71 in Short Story - 01/29/18* *#55 in Short Story - 02/01/18* *#48 in Short Story - 02/09/18* *#45 in Short Story - 02/10/18* *#43 in Short Story - 02/24/18* *#11 in Short Story - 03/10/18*

*Spinoff/Sequel of Lab Partners (Recommended you read Lab Partners first but not required.)* "You know, you shouldn't smoke those things," I spoke softly, referring to the cigarette perched between his teeth. The pale light of the moon made his skin glow like an ethereal light, while his black hair shone like pure obsidian. "And why not?" he asked tiredly, letting the poisonous smoke escape his lips as he looked up at the stars. "They'll kill you," I said honestly, finally looking away from him to peer up at the brilliant night sky. He took the opportunity to turn his stunningly blue gaze back to me. He studied me lazily for a few minutes before asking, "And what if I want to die?" I looked down, straight into his eyes, and asked, "What if I don't want you to?" *This is a bxb book. If you don't like it, don't read it. There is also a trigger warning.* *Cover by @Grand_* *Started 02/14/18* *Finished 04/21/20* *Number of reads on day marked complete: 566k*

WATTPAD ORIGINAL EDITION When Elliot Goldman meets his sweet and charming new lab partner, Jordan Hughes, suddenly high school doesn't seem so bad. For the first time ever, Elliot can't wait to get to chemistry class... ***** Smart, good looking and charismatic, Jordan opens Elliot's eyes to the possibilities around him and gives him butterflies like nobody else does. Jordan isn't exactly the kind of person Elliot's used to having as a lab partner, but when they start acing their assignments, life is suddenly about more than boring lectures, bad cafeteria nachos, or relentless bullying. And then one night, the butterflies start to make sense - the trouble is, now nothing else does. As Elliot begins to figure out how he really feels about Jordan, he realizes that sometimes the last thing you are expecting is the one thing you need the most. [[word count: 40,000-50,000 words]]

*CUPID'S MATCH BOOK 2* FIRST DRAFT Lila receives an ominous Valentine's Day card. Cupid & Cal are keeping a dark secret. Fate is being interfered with. And a sadistic, and extremely powerful banished cupid is intent on stealing Lila's heart. Literally. In the eagerly anticipated BOOK 2 OF THE CUPID'S MATCH SERIES - Arrows will fly, hearts will be stolen, undead cupids will rise, and a dark supernatural plot will emerge that will put more than just Lila's life (and heart) at stake. Perfect for fans of Percy Jackson and the Vampire Diaries. --- For the second time, follow Lila into a world of cupids, arrows, betrayal, and love, in the Watty award winning series with over 50 million reads online. Cupid's Match is in bookstores now! --- Come chat with me! (links in my bio) Twitter: @LEPalphreyman Instagram : @LaurenPalphreyman Facebook (the cupids!) : @CupidsMatchmakingService