Are you ready for the best book you have ever read in the entire world???? Well your in the wrong place. I'm kidding. If you want jokes that make you roll on the floor laughing then here is your place. Make sure to comment, vote, obviously read and stay fantastic and awesome!!!! DISCLAIMER - THESE ARENT MINE Make sure to go and read Texts and Comebacks for more jokes!!!!!

"Losing yourself is the easy part, it's finding yourself again that's hard." *** Hollywood. When you think of the word, you think of glitz, glam, and perfection. You think of rich and flawless people who are admired by all. But everyone knows Hollywood has a dark side. Anastasia Claire ran. Ran from the pain of everything. She left her family and friends after giving up and became someone new. She became the world famous Whitney Winters. But when her manager tells her she has to visit her old high school where her worst moments were, Whitney has to face everything she ran from. Her crush, her friends, her family, and her bullies. Can she keep her head high? Can she face them? And can she maintain her flawless act?

❝say hi, this is your new babysitter❞ ❝hey, i am calum. wanna fuck?❞ started: 5-7-2015

"𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋 𝐇𝐀𝐒 𝐀𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐅 𝐆𝐎𝐃𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐒, 𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐅 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐋" Delphinium Tesla is anything but the normal girl she pretends she is, especially not with the power of telekinesis behind her fingertips. Haunting her nightmares are memories of the evil organization that trained her to be a murdering assassin. One of her worst fears comes to life when she is captured by a government organization and forced into a team with seven other enhanced individuals. Along with a strongman, two orphans, one healer, a charming criminal, a slight lunatic and a crime lord, she must take out a rising evil that is killing innocent people for an unknown purpose. This group of criminals have to come together if they have any hope of surviving to unravel the mystery that is not as it seems. But they all must beware: a few of the team members are far more dangerous than they let on. Together, they will endure lies, betrayal and treachery. Ultimately, Delphinium and her crew will have to ask: "Can the past really stay in the past?" Eventually, the truth will emerge... 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐒𝐀𝐈𝐃: "I've never really read anything like this before. And as a first-timer, I fell in love with it. Hard. I'm so glad I chose to read this book because it satisfies me in so many ways. The author writes such a unique story with such unique aspects and I really hope that people take the leap of faith to read it." "Bizarre, action-filled, funny, heart-thumping and so much more!" "I can't help but put in some time to comment and say what an astounding book you have written, I love it so much that I'm begging lots of people to read it and give it a shot. I know it's not something they'll regret, I for sure didn't. This book will go far!" "This is the best book I've read. Beautiful."

"So anyone have any pets?" I say rather loudly that an old lady turns around and gives me a look as if to say 'go smash your face into a wall multiple times, please'. Ahh don't you just love old ladies? "I have a dog called Jake." Finn kinda grumbles quietly. "OMG YOU GUYS ARE LIKE JAKE AND FINN OF ADVENTURE TIME!" I pretty much scream. "Okay who else has pets?" "I have a younger sister, does that count?" Carlos asks. "I have two and a half cats." States Benny. Aww I love cats I wish I had two and a ha- "WHAT THE HELL, TWO AND A HALF CATS?" I screamed horrified. "Why would some one chop a cat in half? That's so cruel, and why? Like I mea-" "Hey, Hey, I meant two cats and a kitten, not literally two and a half of a cat." Benny says quickly. "Oh that make more sense now." Confusing, weird, sarcastic and crazy are just a few words to describe the beautiful girl named Cassie. Her looks will draw you in but her Craziness will send you running the other way. Her only friend being a sarcastic voice in her head. That is until she meets the gang. What happens when Cassie is mistaken for another girl at her school and gets kidnapped by a gang. How will Cassie handle the awkward Situation? Will she even make it out alive? Probably not. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Hey everyone, I just wanted to warn you about cuss words, bad grammar and Stuff like that. Also please do not copy this idea, I'm warning. you have a choice wether you think it is a good idea or not, not if you do copy the idea I will personally hunt you down then send my army of trained and loyal, ducks. So if you do copy, be 100% prepared for Duck attacks in your near future. Anyways thanks for giving this story a chance. : ) ❤️ Cover by: glimmersnowflakes Go check her out she awesome!

When billionaire bad boy Eros meets shy, nerdy Jade, he doesn't recognize her from his past. Will they be able to look past their secrets and fall in love again? ****** When Jade Collins goes to work for billionaire bad boy Eros Petrakis, all she thinks she'll be doing is making his coffee...but when sparks fly, the shy Jade (who wears a disguise to mask her beauty and the secrets of her past) and the fiery, cocky Eros (who is solely focused on business and doesn't believe in the distractions of love) begin to grow closer and closer. Will Eros be able to see past her disguise to the beauty within? And will Jade be able to tame his heart -- and her own -- once the man of her dreams finally notices her? ****** Officially now a series! Watch it for free on MediaCorp's Youtube Channel- MediaCorp Drama. [[Word Count: 150,000 - 200,000]] The Girl He Never Noticed (Book 1 + 2) by Neilani Alejandrino (Sweetdreamer33) Copyright © 2015. All Rights Reserved.

[THIS IS A SAMPLE] Read the full story on Radish fiction. The link is in my Wattpad Bio. ---- Alexander isn't your typical nerd. He'll say what he wants, do what he wants, and verbally bash you while doing it. That's what Travis, a soccer player assigned to be tutored by Alexander, hates most about him. Confusing feelings, a drunken party, and a month of tutoring was all it took to get Travis to realize he was head over heels for the sharp-tongued Alex. Now, if only he knew where Alex's sarcasm switch was.

NEW YORK TIMES and USA TODAY Bestseller Top #10 Amazon Bestseller #1 Barnes & Noble Bestseller Top #10 Bestseller on iTunes, and Kobo "Move over Twilight! Here comes Aaron Patterson!" --Joshua Graham, bestselling author of Beyond Justice and Darkroom "I was surprised by how much I really, really liked this book. I have not jumped on the whole "fallen angel" bandwagon, just as I didn't jump on all of the vampire stories that came out after Twilight. This is not your typical fallen angel story. It is one that has left me breathlessly waiting for the next one in the series. Hurry up please!!!" --Sandra Stiles BOOK DESCRIPTION: All Airel wanted was to be normal... She seems like an average 17-year-old in the anonymous little city of Boise, Idaho: Airel. But those untroubled days are soon to end, and the change she undergoes will be so radical she will wonder if it wasn't all an illusion to begin with. Pursued ferociously, relentlessly by an ancient enemy in the deepest darkness, now she will have to learn how to fight for her life. And all because of who she is, because of her lineage. Because of this she will never have what she wants most: she will never be normal.

Book 2 of 6 in the Airel Saga, a young adult paranormal romance story.

Book 3 in the Airel Saga. If you missed the first two books, they're both on Wattpad (Book 1 is Airel: The Awakening; Book 2 is Airel: The Discovering). Every book in this series is available in eBook format from Amazon/Kindle, Google Play, Apple/iTunes/iBooks, Barnes & Noble/Nook, and Kobo. Anyone with a smartphone, iPad, tablet, or computer can read them!