“You’re a loud one, aren’t you?” I say as I finish with her face and hold the scissors down. “Listen here, girl, let me tell you something…” My hand, the one not holding the bloody scissors, reaches forward to grasp her chin in a firm hold. “I’m crazy.” Smirking, I caress her bruised lips with my thumb, dragging it along the chipped pieces of flesh. “I’m possibly the craziest son of a bitch ever to be born in this life. My mind is twisted, my words are daggers, and all I ever do is bring people pain.”

A bunch of hilarious,pee your pants funny jokes in one place. Have a nice reading and Remember you can't spell swag without sw and ag!

Random

Although Lillian was, in theory, the perfect submissive, she simply was not perfectly compatible with Nathaniel Lenova. And he craved perfection. He craved obedience. And he absolutely craved the feeling of dominating. He never expected to find everything in one girl: Adalia Davenport. When this middle-class girl gets a job as his housekeeper, she doesn't know what to expect; after all, she had never really been part of the rich class. She never expected Mr. Lenova to be a Dom. She never expected to accidentally walk into his playroom. And she most definitely did not expect him to offer to dominate her. *NC-17. BDSM. Don't act surprised that it is.*

Hilarious and random jokes written down as facts

Hilarious and totally awkward situations

❝ if you can find me within the next thirty days, i'll be whatever you want me to be. but if you lose, i'll drag you to the nearest salon to get your hair dye to a colour i like. ❞ ❝ deal. ❞

June has a rather low key life, working as a clerk in a small town hair salon. One night when she's closing up shop, a strange man enters questioning her about her past. After making threatening accusations, he disappears. June must figure out who this stranger is and how he's connected to her past, before he ruins her future.

This story is about Maxon and Americas only child, Jane. It is about her new way of running the selection.