❝It was a little after eight-the sky a void of raspberry and periwinkle and lavender carnations-and possibly the most humid day in the middle of July when I first saw him tagging the side of an abandoned building next to the rundown Mini-Mart.❞ - Young Writer's Short Story Contest Finalist.

The family burns basics. Trashes tropes. Their daughter isn't out for blood. She's out for the person who started the cliche that ended her. ✯ ✯ ✯ "Even though I dip your toothbrush in the toilet bowl, excessively steal your clothes, purposefully annoy the hell out of you, and wish at every 11:11 that you'd be in a body bag the next morning - you're still my sister. And we will always have one another's back." ✯ ✯ ✯ "You're a cute banana." "Excuse me?" "Yellow on the outside, white on the inside." He read my silence as confusion and added, "Your little brother there is an Oreo; black on the outside, white on the inside. Your pretty sister over there is a coconut; brown on the outside, white on-" "What the shit. That's how you want to hit on me?" +++ Wendzel Baxtard, a feminist killjoy armed with heavy loads of sarcasm and marinates herself in self-respect, is ready to destroy the ethnic slurs and derogatory terms that were brought on her because of the clothes she wore and her sexual behaviors.

Hire the idiot, they said. It will be fun, they said. Adriana Martella is impulsive, bratty, and miserable. Nathan Byers is good-looking, charismatic, and cheerful. Adriana feels trapped in a life she doesn't want, but Nathan seems to think he's the answer to all of her problems, including her need for a replacement assistant. There's just one issue: Nathan seems to have fallen out of the Stupid Tree and hit every branch on the way down. Hiring an idiot for an assistant is bad enough, but hiring an idiot for a fake boyfriend is simply unreasonable. No one in their right mind would make such a borderline-suicidal choice. Right? Wrong.

Emma van der Bilt is clever, snarky, and spoiled rotten. William Knight is cocky, impatient, and slightly dimwitted. So how exactly did Will manage to kidnap Emma and her best friend twice and live to talk about it? *** "What the hell-" I screeched. "Good morning, sunshine." I looked up in alarm and saw the smirking face of my kidnapper. His face would have made me a lot angrier had it not been terribly swollen, thanks to yours truly. "I'd say good morning, but judging by the boner on your face, I'd say you weren't having such a good morning." His self-satisfied smirk fell almost instantly, and his partner-in-crime laughed out loud from the driver's seat. "Actually," he said, "I'm having a pretty good morning. My luck's about to change. You wanna know why?" I didn't answer. "I'll tell you why. I've successfully kidnapped the daughter of one of the richest men in the country." "Don't start counting your lucky stars just yet. This isn't over yet," I snapped. "Isn't it?" he asked, raising the eyebrow above his good eye. His other one remained in a permanent squint, and it made it kind of hard to take him seriously. "I'm not the one who's naked and tied up in a stranger's back seat." I glanced down at myself and noticed for the first time that I was in my bra and panties. Honestly, I was kind of relieved. When he'd said "naked," I'd assumed he meant birthday-suit naked, not half-naked. *** Warning: Rated PG-13 for sexual content and language. Mostly language. I have a colorful vocabulary.

Mia Hastings was never one to follow the rules. Her brother knew it, her best friend knew it. Everyone knew it. She lives for the moment, doing whatever she feels and thinking of the consequences later. Her main goal in life is to live it. Mia’s brother’s best friend Drake O’Connell was never big on rules. The judge who sentences him to 2 years in prison knew it. He is known for being the badboy, partying and womanising. His charm, good looks and obnoxious behaviour made his life pretty easy and his main goal in it was to have fun. He had lost 2 years of his life locked up, so he was determined to make up for lost time. So when these two people are thrown together, both without a care in the world, issues of their own and more secrets than an episode of Pretty Little Liars, you can expect a story full of laughs, tears, arguments and felonies. They might be breaking the law, but both Mia and Drake are about to find out that when it feels wrong, it is ALWAYS more fun. ©makeandoffer

Faith Mitchell was never confident. She was happy to blend into the background, much to the protest of her friends. At 16, her life was a normal teenage cliche. She was in love with Jace, the obnoxious player who she couldn't have, and her biggest worry was whether or not he would finally come to his senses and see that she really was the one for him. That is until she is kidnapped and recruited by a secret agency of assassins. She is torn away from her normal teenage life and thrown into a world of guns, knifes and criminals. The agency mold her into the perfect killing machine, and at 19 she is no longer the shy girl that was snatched away from her uncomplicated life, but a ruthless killer who will stop at nothing to complete whatever mission she is on. Then, the agency has a new mission which involves Faith returning to her hometown, and facing her friends, family and the very boy who broke her heart just before it turned into stone. What will happen once Faith comes face to face with Jace? Will the obnoxious player be able to reach out and get the old Faith back without pressing any of her wrong buttons, considering that the shy girl he once knew now has a gun. (WATTY AWARDS 2011) (THE FICTION AWARDS 2017) ©makeandoffer

Chase Evans may be a notorious playboy, but he’s always known he’d fall hopelessly in love one day. So when he meets Spanish beauty LaCienega [Lah-cie-Ena-ga] Perez and falls head over, he knows for sure she’s what he’s always been waiting for. Except LaCienega is already engaged by the time he meets her and to none other than his childhood best friend Jace Waite who Chase hasn’t seen since high school graduation. Meanwhile, he meets Krislynn Reimer who has a strange attraction for bad boys and imperfection. She's not interested in the pretty boys who are complete jerks like he is. She wants the real bad boys, the ones with addiction problems, family problems, money problems, woman problems, any problems! It’s her favourite hobby to take them home and put a Band-Aid over their hearts and nurse them back to health. Except when they make a full recovery, they always abandon her and always in the cruellest ways. The two utterly can't stand each other so how in the world did Chase end up as Krislynn's boyfriend and how in the world did Krislynn end up as Chase's maid?

Let's face it. There are way more cliché books on this website than there are unique ones. Even the ones people say are unique tend to have some kind of cliché undertone. And then the ones that really are unique almost never ever get discovered. And it sucks. But for those of you who don't know your book is cliché, this book is for you. Because it seems to me like that is the case for some people. Not all books are going to be entirely unique, but sometimes there needs to be a balance between both sides. And I'm here to help you find it. If there are 500 words in a chapter, can you spot the clichés?

Update: This story has been discontinued. - I am terribly sorry. Your mother lied to you. She told you that you were unique, and that as a teenager you have a whole bunch of options you can choose from to determine who you want to be. She must have been high. Look, I'm going to tell you this honestly. Somewhere out there in this floating sphere of green and blue, there's a person who acts just like you. It's the combinations of different personalities - which eventually lead up to an actual human being - that makes us all unique. But it can't hurt to find out where your personality stems from, right? Wanna know who you are? I'll help you out. There are 36 students in my classroom. Which one are you?