Ashley and Lia are two lesbians growing up in, what they like to call, the anus of the universe. Ashley goes to a school where the favorite past time is "kick the queer", and Lia goes to a "progressive" school where they act like she has a mental illness and should be treated like she's 5. With enough sarcasm, mild violence, and Kristen Stewart movies, they're able to survive their predicament, but are constantly reminded that they're different. About 80% of the events in this play are true and have happened to me, family members, and all the wonderful people I've met on tumblr. This one's for you, you guys.

Update: This story has been discontinued. - I am terribly sorry. Your mother lied to you. She told you that you were unique, and that as a teenager you have a whole bunch of options you can choose from to determine who you want to be. She must have been high. Look, I'm going to tell you this honestly. Somewhere out there in this floating sphere of green and blue, there's a person who acts just like you. It's the combinations of different personalities - which eventually lead up to an actual human being - that makes us all unique. But it can't hurt to find out where your personality stems from, right? Wanna know who you are? I'll help you out. There are 36 students in my classroom. Which one are you?