Frank is just an ordinary person, with an ordinary job, when one day everything changes. A flaming metal object falls from the sky, crashes right in his backyard, and what was inside it would change his life forever. Chapters: 33/33. Complete. FAQ at the end covers all 3 installations of the fic. Prologue and Epilogue can be found on my page.

"He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man." When notorious pirate (and total asshole) Gerard Way snatches young, innocent Frank Iero from his tidy, planned-out life and deposits him on the infamous pirate ship, The Black Freighter, he is immersed in a world of deception, violence and sin. The thing is, though, he knows from the start that it won't be the fighting that destroys him-- it will be the loathing he and Gerard feel for each other that will tear him apart in the end.

Gerard is a talented magician, responsible for much of the success of the famous Envision Destiny cruise ship. He's also one of those people. You know, one of those people who just seem to take up all the space they come across with their arrogance and confidence. You wouldn't wanna touch their personality with a 10-foot pole, but still people admire them. That is beyond Frank. Working behind the cruise ship bars and seeing Gerard pretty much every day, he can't understand what's so great about him. Besides, everybody else doesn't have to deal with his snide remarks and rude comments. Because if there's one thing Gerard seems to love, it's the act of constantly pestering Frank. Story credits goes to innocent_wolves on livejournal.com

Gerard Way was kicked out of the North Pole. Long story short, someone had roughly 24 criminal charges (these things do happen) and now he's gotta hook a human up with the real meaning of Christmas. And of course, that certain someone just happened to be the world's most cold-hearted businessman. Frank Iero. And there's no way in hell Gerard is letting this man get in the way of him going home, no matter what it takes. Even if he has to hoe hoe hoe his way to the top. Thanks to aerialists for the cover!