"say my name, dan howell"

" Phil Lester is on the edge of suicide. " or in which Dan can see everyone's deepest secret simply by looking at them.

"I know we're young, but we have the kinda love that could last forever" in which Phil is selectively mute but Dan can't hear so that's okay March 19 2017 - January 30 2018 #890 in fanfiction

Phil had never been one to dwell on the bigger picture, he was the type content to saturate in the moment. He'd never really understood the way his best friend would get so hung up on finding purpose, not when he'd come to terms with the idea that life was what you made of it so early on. He considered himself a firm believer in the idea of karma, that putting good out into the world would bring you nothing but the same back. That's why he was always so careful to keep positive, to keep a smile on his face through it all. That's also why it shattered him so when the world handed him back a nightmare in exchange for his dreams. You would think, with how long they've known each other, by now Pj would have grown accustomed to loss and the crippling grief that comes along with it. He has trouble accepting it, that it's a permanent thing and no amount of reminiscing will give him the opportunity to make new memories again. That's why he reasoned with himself that becoming a medical student was a good idea, that someday he would be there for someone in a way that no one else had been there for him. He wanted to save people. And, unbeknownst to Pj, there was someone out there equally as determined to save him. Felix had always envied the simplicity that came with gaming. The guided path from start to finish, the reassurance along the way that you were doing the right thing, and if all else failed he'd always had manuals to fall back on. Real life wasn't like that, it wasn't as simple as keeping your team alive until you crossed over into the credits. Choosing between what he's always known and what his heart tells him to do won't be easy, but thankfully he's not in it alone. With zombies on their tail and feelings they don't yet want to face ahead of them, this gang of unlikely heroes are about to realize that things aren't always what they seem.

[COMPLETED] who knew a blue dot could save someone?

dan howell liked space, and in phil's eyes he saw galaxies. phil lester liked nature, maybe dan could paint him flowers. [spaceboy!dan x plantboy!phil]

phan // in which a boy named dan leaves flowers with every step and phil wishes he could grow a garden in his small london apartment

❝Remember that first time we hugged at the train station? I remember seeing your face light up and I hugged you for so long, I didn't want to let go because for once, I felt complete. But that was before you left.❞

{Sequel to Before You Leave} ❝After I left, there was so many things that hit me and that I realized. One of those things was that I missed you.❞

"goddamn right, you should be scared of me" {this fan fiction contains some very triggering topics}