{I lost him a while back, but I didn't realise until it was too late. Until he was gone for good.} TW for depression, suicide, and lots of existentialism.

In a world where everyone has a special ability, a "power", young Dan Howell is alone in having nothing to show for it. He now constantly, obsessively searches for something, anything, that could mean he was different, day after day. But maybe all it takes is a certain Super showing an interest in him to make him truly feel like he doesn't need a power to make him special.

Dan Howell never wanted dreams. Because dreams meant he met his soulmate, and meeting his soulmate meant dooming them to a terrible life of memories about his anxiety-ridden past. But when he literally bumps into the boy he was supposed to be perfect for, he may realise he's willing to put his fears behind him and let himself be loved. Sadly, it's never as easy as that. Shoutout to the beautiful and wonderful and all around amazing in every way @phanoutlet for literally over 50% of this story. Please go check her out, her book New to Me is my fave phan-fic ever <3

Basorexia: a strong craving or hunger for kissing WARNING: MILD LANGUAGE, SELF HARM, SUICIDE, ABUSE, AND DEPRESSION. YOU'VE BEEN ADVISED. Dan who is selectively mute, gets bullied at his school, and Phil tries to cheer him up. "Dan isn't the ordinary teenager. He doesn't enjoy parties, drinking, or big crowds. He's different from everyone else. Nobody ever said he likes being the way he is. Dan feels lonely all the time, and he has no friends. He's sad, and he believes there's nothing he can do about it. Therapy isn't working, his dad isn't helping, and the anti depressants don't do much. On the other hand, Phil is happy. He brings cheer to those around him, and he brightens everyone's day with a smile. Nobody ever remembers a day in their life where Phil was ever sad. Phil also doesn't like parties, drinking, smoking, or very large crowds."

Dan has been depressed for years now that no one knows about. Kids at school bully him and hurt him. He was going to end it all until one day before school he went to a coffee shop he met a young man. The boys become friends, but Dan starts to feel different than "just friends" (WARNING: DEPRESSION, CUTTING, AND BULLYING!)

SEQUEL TO ALIVE Phil's life is in shambles. A third year university student, he lives a less-than-extraordinary life: ignoring calls from his ex-best-friend, working in a local shop, and sleeping around to forget the one thing always on his mind: Dan Howell. TW: language, sexual content, drug mentions ENTIRELY WRITTEN FROM PHIL'S POV

Dan Howell is invisible. That's all he knows how to be. Terrified of standing out, he is happy going unnoticed by his peers, finding company in only the old rock and roll songs on his iPod. But Dan's life is turned upside-down when a boy in his drama class takes him under his wing, introducing him to a world of excitement he never could have imagined. Through the good and the bad, Dan's new life thrills him and leaves him wondering ...what does it mean to truly be alive? pairs: Phan and KickTheStickz tw: language, sexual content, abuse, depression, death, suicide, medication, drugs, parents, alcohol ENTIRELY WRITTEN FROM DAN'S POV Note: This fic features no main character death, only mentions of death.

When Dan start school in a new place, he and Phil become friends fast. But what happens when things become to much? What happens when the only relief seems to be in harming? What happens when they start catching feelings for one another? But what happens when what Dan's been forced to do his whole life, emerges again, threatening to possibly separate them forever, especially when they need the other the most? *Contains: -fluff, smut -descriptive issues such as: self harm, abuse, suicidal thoughts PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY TRIGGERED BY THESE THINGS stay safe *hugs*

Phil wakes up in an alternate universe. And then Phil... wakes up in an alternate universe. Both Phil's try to navigate back to their own life while simultaneously trying to deal with each others'. (AKA YouTuber!Phil tries to deal with the fact that he's in a band and he and Dan are enemies, and Band!Phil tries to understand how in any universe he and Dan could be lovers.) creds to @xSillyTilly for the amazing cover! (ominousdan.tumblr.com)

An American girl named Liz was sent from her old orphanage to an orphanage in London where she got adopted by her 2 youtube heros. Warnings: Attempted suicide, cutting, blood and gore, homophobes, bullying, depression.