They're worlds apart, and this isn't high school, so how the hell did a homeless female writer end up renting a billionaire's mansion? And - hold your breath - becoming his fake girlfriend? ➳ full blurb inside ➳ first reached #1 in humor on july 6, 2015 ➳ first reached #1 in business on august 29, 2023 ➳ winner of best humor book in the fiction awards 2016 ➳ featured by cadbury (marvellous creations) and secret lives of the americans (pivot) P.S. This is a SATIRICAL BILDUNGSROMAN. Proceed with caution. (cover by @glueeater)

WATTPAD BOOKS EDITION Griffin Tomlin is dead. And Clara's sister killed him . . . Four months after the murder, the entire town of Shiloh is still in shock. For Clara Porterfield, the normal world has crumbled around her in a million chaotic pieces. Now Clara lives in a new reality, where her sister awaits trial for murder, her mother obsessively digs in a dead, frozen garden, and her father lives and breathes denial. At school, Clara is haunted by her classmates' morbid curiosity-and all of the unspoken questions they won't ask. But none of them knows what she knows . . . Now Clara's sister wants something from her-the one thing in all of this that Clara isn't ready to face: the truth about what really happened that night. Because this story didn't die with Griffin Tomlin. There's another story that needs to be told. And sometimes, the lies we're told are nowhere near as deadly as the lies we tell ourselves . . .

If you're judging this book by its cover and title, you're already proving the point this story wants to make. Try to move past this satirical obstacle in front of you. This is a story about bullying, and like the hundreds of other books on the topic, it will show you the harsh reality of being discriminated, belittled, ridiculed for something you cannot control- how you look, who you love, or what you believe in. But unlike these books, this story's sole purpose is not to tear your heart out of your chest as you mourn over your loss of faith in humanity. Instead, this book will make you laugh and love alongside these characters. Just like in life, there will be moments of dread and surrender, but there will also be moments of happiness, laughter, and love. - Naomi Lorraine, better known as Nerdy Naomi with her thick-rimmed glasses and straight-A report card, is the most unpopular girl in her school. Even with the help of her sarcastic comebacks, that doesn't stop her from getting bullied by everyone in Dartwell High. Every day her childhood bully, Raymond Meyers, knocks her off her feet, literally. However, she can't do anything but survive the laughs, insults, and bruises high school gives her. There are three senior transfer students, dubbed the Three Musketeers: Bennett Frazier, Jordan Wallace, and Declan Lynch. All in one day, Naomi catches their attention one by one. With her snarky attitude, but innocent look, they can't help but want her. But not the way you're thinking. Oh no, not like that. Instead, it's probably the whole opposite. It's quite simple really. She'll be their good girl. And they'll be her bad boys. ~ [This story is a first draft written by a 13 to 15-year-old girl so it has its fair share of grammar mistakes and plot holes.] Wattys 2015 Talk of the Town Award Second Place Story of 2015 Best Humor and Overall Points of The Fiction Awards 2016 Third in the Writers Awards 2016 Highest Ranks: #1 Humor, #1 Teen Fiction

Ashley Martin has been through more grief than a person experiences in their entire life and carries baggage that no kid should ever entail. Tyler Miller is the school's scandalous bad boy who acts on impulse, blinded rage and will single-handedly destroy anybody who stands in his way. Then all of a sudden, they're thrown together and despite their destructive past, they're forced to overcome their differences. It's time for Ashley to stop running away from his death glares, blank stares and that spine-chilling scowl that reminds her just how little he cares. Driven by a whirlwind of secrets, a class assignment and midnight walks into the past, things should start working out. But then fate kicks in; hard-hitting and soul-crushing. It's a fight-or-flight situation, a reincarnation of her past, a chance for him to right the wrongs he did by her. A second chance is like giving someone an extra bullet for their gun after they missed you the first time round. So here's Tyler's gun. Here's Ashley's heart. And here's to their second chance, however hopeless it may seem.

Holly didn't like superstar Sebastian Jennings, and she had always been vocal about that. So what happens when her best friend drags her to his concert? Little did she know her life would change the moment her eyes connected with worldwide superstar Sebastian Jennings-singer, actor and international heartthrob. Did Holly have what it took to make sure that Sebastian didn't rewrite the tune of her life to the beat of his heart? *** We stared back at each other in a heat filled moment, and as I looked into his piercing green eyes I felt myself being lost in his stare. He licked his lips and leaned down towards my face, and I felt his breath fan across my cheeks as I saw him close his eyes, lips desperately close to my own. I was about to lean in and close my eyes as well until I heard a piercing scream run through the hallways. "SEBASTIAN JENNINGS!" ***SATIRE! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK***

{#1 in teenagers} {#2 in fiction} {#2 in popular} "You better not tell anyone about this." "Aw why not? I'm sure your fandom of desperate girls would love to know that their precious prince charming needs a babysitter." I smile innocently back at his death glare. "I'm serious, nerd. I could make your life hell." ------------------------------------------------------------ Marnie Jones is an ordinary 11th grader. Her only intentions are to get good grades and save money for college with her babysitting job. Everything is going to plan. Until she gets a job babysitting the high school bad boy, Zeke Blakely. The two come from complete different social groups, and Marnie automatically hates Zeke and his big ego and cocky attitude. He's a player. He's dangerous. He's reckless. She's safe with an overthinking problem. As the two are seen hanging around school together, attention gets drawn to Marnie. Which she hates. But she also catches the eye of a handsome jock, too. And why, you ask, does a 17 year old boy need a babysitter? You'll have to read to find out. WARNING: contains vulgar language and mature scenes.

Eight Years Ago "Mom.." I say with a small smile on my face. My sister had passed her first music lesson and we're all so proud of her. "What is it Layla!? can't you see I'm busy?!" She snaps. "Oh.." I say, my smile faltering slightly, as I watch mom cuddle Heidi and give her lots of sweets as reward. "C-can I have a sweetie too?" I ask. Mom laughs coldly. "Why should you? You've never achieved anything, have you?! Lazy little brat." Heidi giggles and I look at her to see a smirk on her face, making my face fall. I watch mom whisper things to Heidi, making her giggle even more. The door swings open, and my dad walks in. I smile again, running to him and hug his knees but he just brushes me off with an annoyed expression, walking towards my mom hugging her and ruffling Heidi's hair. What's going on? "Dad..ruffle my hair too?" I ask hesitantly. All three of them burst out laughing and I sink down in embarassment. "Layla, we always knew you weren't the brightest kid here." He laughs "I just knew you'd be a screw up, right Luise?" He says and she nods. "And I was right. You're a failure" He grabs my maths sheet, crumples it up and throws it at me. "You spend way too much time with your 'friends' never on your education, you ungrateful little brat. We should've got rid of you as soon as we found out you were on the way." He spits out spitefully as my mum nods, still smirking. "Dad I'll do better, I promise!" I sob, tears streaming down my face, but he shakes his head, smirking. I look at my sister and walk towards her giving her a watery smile. "H-Heidi... we're still friends right?" I ask, desperately. Her smirk slowly vanishes. she leans forward and I thought she'd hug me, but instead she pulls my hair and pushes me onto the floor making me scream. She laughs, my parents joining her. "Stupid" she hisses, kicking me, before going to my parents, all of them walking out, leaving me on the floor, crying my eyes out. What have I done to deserve this?

For a second I turned my back when I felt strong arms grab my waist and pull me back. Reese forced me to sit on his lap as I felt his lips near my neck. "You really want me to leave?" he whispered in my ear with that deep voice of his. "Y-Yes," I stuttered. My heartbeat quickened as he planted a kiss right near my earlobe. Why was he doing this to me!? "But I just got here," Reese repeated. This time I didn't prepare myself since he began to plant soft kisses on my neck, I bit hard on my lips. Reese's hands traveled up my body until they met my stomach, my breath quickening. "Tempted?" his soft but alluring voice asked me. I could've nodded but I was too focused on the fact that his hand was right at my stomach. Instead I turned my head back and smirked before planting a soft kiss on his cheeks. "Maybe," I whispered. ****** Maggie Rosewood is new to the town, and she's not your typical girl. With a dark past and dangerous habits, she isn't planning on getting any attention from anybody at her new HighSchool. Reese Matthews is the exact opposite. He loves the attention and makes sure he gets it 24/7. But after one good look at Maggie, he will make sure that she is his girl. ****This story also includes self harm and bulimia, just a warning. Also, @XxUrban_WriterXx for the amazing cover. And @LostGirl01Dee for the name.

[COMPLETED] Alexis was your typical everyday good girl with excellent grades, a single best friend, an annoying elder brother and a family that loved her to no end. When senior year rolled up, Alexis wasn't looking to expand her small social circle of friends or put herself out there but things are meant to change, after all, change is the only constant thing in life. Paired to do a group assignment with the school's three new mysterious gorgeous looking guys at the start of the term, Alexis is tested in more ways than one. Cheesy pick up lines, rude guys, charming smiles, motorcycle rides, coffee dates and long hours together is all it takes to make her question everything she ever thought she knew. But what happens when she falls for one of them? The one with the dark hair and green eyes? What will she do when he finds out about the secret she's been harbouring all her life? She begins to regret her decision and wish she'd met him long before, but life has its own way of playing with one's feelings. Will her secret break their newly found relationship or will it make it grow stronger? ----☆---- Formerly known as 'Falling In Love With You' [[word count: 60,000 - 70,000 words]] Cover by @_torch

She lay on her bed, blood seeping through her skin, a fractured rib. She knew there would be no doctor, no way for anyone to find out. She knew she would not be saved. From the outside, Isabelle Thompson had the perfect family. A protective brother, a hard-working father and a nurturing mother. Everyone knew who they were, and everyone knew they wouldn't kill a fly. But they had a secret, and big fat juicy one too. Isabelle was always quiet. She never spoke, she always wore dark clothing, and she had no friends. It was easier that way. No one would find out, no one knew her. Until a bright sparkle of Adam Black came fluttering into her life. Always remember: 'Stay hidden, and remain unseen.' - (Trigger Warning) All rights reserved to Elyse-ri © 2017 Completed Happy reading :)