Humor stories
35 stories
The Jock's Blackmail by awkward_tumbleweed
awkward_tumbleweed
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Unknown Number: Well you gotta give me something! Hell, anything! You can't just dangle this in front of me for the rest of my life! Me: I wasn't planning on it... Unknown Number: Blackmail is a crime, you know! Me: I'M NOT BLACKMAILING YOU! Unknown Number: WHERE'S YOUR SENSE OF ADVENTURE! YOU GET AN OPPORTUNITY LIKE THIS AND YOU SEIZE IT!! JEEZE!!! AND HERE I WAS HOPING YOU'D DO SOMETHING!!! Me: ...you want me to...blackmail you??
KIDNAPPED BY THE AGENT | Project Callister Book One by ValorAndVice
ValorAndVice
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#1 in humor, action, and romance ❝Octavia Snow, you're going to have to come with me,❞ the stranger said with an amused look. ❝No thanks, I'm really not a big fan of kidnapping.❞ ❝Sorry Cupcake. You don't have a choice.❞ --- OCTAVIA SNOW is a sassy, sarcastic, and perpetually hungry college student who is kidnapped by the CIA. ACE BLACKWELL is the leader of this highly deadly team, not to mention, he's the one who decided to kidnap Octavia. Together, a world-renowned agent, an infamous thief, a powerful mafia leader, a deadly assassin...and a teenage girl are forced to work together to stop the crime of the century. READERS' REVIEWS "By far my favorite book on wattpad." "My new standard of guys is Ace Blackwell." "I'm laughing, I'm crying, and I'm loving this." Started in December 2017
The Bad Boy Calls Me Kitten by HessianKills
HessianKills
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"You'll be fine?" I shrieked. "You just got freaking stabbed! You're letting out more blood than a girl on her period! You are not going to be fine! I have to call the police. No wait, I have to call an ambulance! Oh my God, why didn't I think of that before? Stupid, Genevi-" "Stop talking!" he growled, turning away. I wrung my hands together in panic, trying to calm myself down. "I can take care of this, kitten. Leave me alone. It's just a small wound. Not like I haven't been stabbed before." he muttered the last part. "What?!" "Leave." he growled. I stared at him, unable to close my mouth. I had never seen someone get stabbed before. Heck, I had never seen someone get into a fight before. Ever. The only violence I had experienced was in movies. It was unfortunate for me that I found out how I would react in a danger situation like this. And by react, I mean completely flip the hell out. *LANGUAGE WARNING*
The Girl In Black by HeartlessThoughts
HeartlessThoughts
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Nova can't escape the rich town of Riverside, where a tragedy follows her every step, but she can work to uncover who's been lying to her all these years. ***** When seventeen-year-old Nova Nightingale returns to her late mother's hometown the last thing she expects is to be public enemy number one, but the rumors surrounding her mother's sudden disappearance fifteen years earlier follow Nova everywhere she goes. And to top it all off, the local rich boy, Isaac Royal, is adamant about making her life hell. Surrounded by rumors, lies, and a secret keeping the town on edge, Nova has to figure out why she's hated and why the boy hell-bent on making her suffer seems to be the only person she can trust. Content/Triggering Warning: this story contains themes of suicide and violence [[word count: 80,000-90,000 words]]
The Girl with The Bad Handwriting  by Gummy_BeaRRss
Gummy_BeaRRss
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❝I'm just appreciating beauty that's right in front of me.❞ ❝...You find an old woman dancing in her bra beauty?!❞ (\(•~•)/) Lavender Adeline is a strange girl, she always knew she was and so does her family and her best friends. When it comes to bumpy patches in the road, Lavender is certainly no stranger to them. Along the way she meets Kyle, the new kid of the school who just so happens to be her neighbor who shares every class with her. As she gets closer to him, she realizes she feels feelings she never thought she'd feel towards anyone in her life. Just as she feels like owning up to her feelings towards him, something happens that could possibly change their relationship forever. Will Lavender be able to get over this bump in the road or will she be stuck in it for awhile. •
She's One Of The Boys by lilly-rain
lilly-rain
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Secrets do not stay hidden for long. Have you ever had a secret that you would do anything to keep from your own family? Coming home from being at boarding school for an entire year is something Eva has dreamed about since her Dad sent her away; she missed her older brothers and none of them seemed to have changed much, but she has. Eva Thorn does not trust Saxon Redford, in fact she thinks he is the devil in disguise, but he might have all the answers she is looking for. However, he wants something from her that she might not be capable of giving and everything turns into a giant game of who can come out on top. Eva is immature and annoying at times, Saxon is demanding and rude all the time – who will win, but remember they aren’t the only ones hiding secrets.
The Billionaire & I by dami241
dami241
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Rewritten and completed✔ Ophelia Duhamels knows what rock bottom is and vows to never hit it again after getting her life back on track. What she doesn't account for is an ex, who is now to be her boss. ************ After months of depression and self-pitying, Ophelia finally starts getting her life back on track and finds a job. But fate is seemingly not done toying with her when her new boss turns out to be an ex she hasn't seen since their messy breakup years ago. Although disgruntled by the unexpected turn of events, keeping the job is much more important than whatever residual indignation she still feels. It's a rocky reunion full of clashes and arguments and as the weeks and months go by, she starts to question a lot of things. Life is full of all kinds of surprises for Ophelia, the biggest in the form of her hotshot billionaire ex. ************ Excerpt; "You deserve to rot in hell, and I hope you never find your stupid files!" "Get out," his voice dropped menacingly. "Glady." I glared at him and flipped him off before leaving the office and slamming the door behind me.
A Secret Service [NOW PUBLISHED] by joymoment
joymoment
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Now available in paperback! "I LOVE IT!" - CarniaHolmes "I'm going to break your nose, because I don't like your face," Carter said. She pointed to Zac. "I'm going to dislocate your other shoulder, just to make them even." She cocked her head and gave the main guy a sickly sweet smile. "I'm going to break your wrist, taking away your baseball career. And finally you, Finch," she said, looking to the last guy. "I'm going to bust your ankle because I don't like the way you walk." She slid her hands into her pockets. "Now, how does that sound to all of you? And please feel free to look amused, skeptical or patronizing at this point. I'll have all the more fun wiping the expressions off your faces." Carter Owens, daughter of a Secret Service agent, is trained to disassemble any weapon, any situation, and anyone. Her biting sarcasm and razor-sharp mind make her impossible to beat in a word fight and when talking doesn't work, she uses her fists. She attends Hamilton Prep, Washington D.C.'s most prestigious high school, where everyone is related to someone in power, except her. When Hamilton Prep receives a flood of new students, Carter's role as social outcast changes when she makes two unexpected friends. Friends who are hiding a secret. As Carter uncovers the truth, she confronts challenges she is unequipped to handle and finds herself in a dangerous situation. For a girl trained to see everything, Carter never saw this coming. "This is one of those books that seem like it won't be really good, but then it's mindblowing-ly amazing and then you're questioning life =)" - rwrites07 "#rr for like the 10th time haha love this book" - tahls16 "I loved this book, it wasn't cringey cliche or stupid. I normally hate third person books but I loved this and all the characters, especially carter." - lenathedov Editor's Choice Talk of The Town #1 Teen Fiction, #1 Fiction #1 Love #1 Completed #1 New Adult #1 Friendship #1 Funny #1 Drama
He Was A Dog When I Left, I Swear! by MillionLaughsAMinute
MillionLaughsAMinute
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"I can't really remember much before I was four," I admitted, shrugging my shoulders. "Four seems to be where I stop." He nodded, digging his teeth into his lower lip as he stepped in front of the window, as if to protect us both from someone looking in. "I'm going to tell you the truth, Blue, and you've got to promise not to freak out." And it was at that point that I realised. I was most definitely going to freak out. [cover by _Tantalicious_]
Love, Anonymous by Liz_Plum
Liz_Plum
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*Completed* "I just want to know why." I say as I turn over, trying to find his figure through the dark of my room. "Why what?" He asks. "Why you're being so nice to me." I say quietly, vulnerability seeping into my words. "How we even became friends." He sighs, "I want to know how." I scrunch my brow. "How what?" His response is soft, the opposite of his sarcastic personality. "How you don't see it." ******* Reagan Holt was about as average as a high school student could be. She didn't play any sports, didn't participate in the popular activities, and wasn't the girl all the boys chased after. All except one boy. He wrote her a letter every week. Each letter described something new for him to love about her. Whether it was how beautiful her laugh was or how his heart swelled with every smile she gave, he never failed to write how he felt. So the two should be together, right? That's the way Reagan wants it, but there's just one problem. He signs his letters "Love, Anonymous." Now add an obnoxious, conceited, sex god into the equation and you get a teenage girl confused on who really loves her. The sweet, tender written anonymous lover, or the cocky, ignorant asshole? -REVIEWS- "You create such wonderful characters and I can't wait to see what happens next!" VampireSa5m41993 "Thank you for wonderful dogs and little brothers and eccentrically hormonal best friends!" -Nat-Attack "I am totally hooked on this book!" nbazinet "I love the way the story flows and that you have really roundabout characters. It's as if they're real while I'm reading!" life_is_beautiful115 "Your work is literally art." lemonsun123 "Every time I read this book it just makes me smile." Nicooole97 Cover by: -winterr