Hilarious
10 stories
One Million Masks: REDUX | ✓ by therealkayelle
therealkayelle
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The story of your sexual capitulation told by the bloodthirsty supervillain who discovered your secret identity, ruined every chance of you maintaining a normal functioning relationship, and is kinda-sorta (without a doubt, definitely) obsessed with you. ***** Your name is Hector Jean-Baptiste. By day you're an upstanding college student: rugby star, stellar Haitian son, autism activist. By night you're Makeshift, an electrokinetic powerhouse hailed as the greatest superhero of our generation. Keeping your beloved alter ego a secret shouldn't be an issue, but recently your sadistic archnemesis, Vortex, can't seem to grasp the importance of personal space... Basically, the deadliest villain in the world disguises himself as a charming barista intending to seduce, corrupt, and destroy America's favorite poster boy (AKA You) only to fall dangerously in love with the kind-hearted man (Also You) behind the mask instead. Whoops? ★ Featured during #CelebrateBlackStories, #BlackPride2021, and #WrittenwithPride2021 ★ Wattpad Certified Fresh Read CONTENT WARNING: This story contains strong language, mild violence, sensual themes, and mentions of racism and homophobia.
How to Be Cliche (A Novel) by katrocks247
katrocks247
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Cli·ché: a phrase or opinion that is overused and betrays a lack of original thought. Meet Pepper Ballard. Independent, single, and sarcastic as hell. Pepper fights her own battles with pride and is officially #done with clichés. Unshaven werewolves, pale vampires, flawless and talented female vampire hunters who instantly fall in love with the enemy even though they want to kill the hunter's entire family... Please, give her a break. The more Pepper tries to avoid these nauseating clichés and destroy them, the further she is dragged into a dark, supernatural world that is her own virtual worst nightmare. A world that includes a bunch of sexy, mysterious, and dangerous men lurking around every corner... Wait...what's the definition of "nightmare" again? * * * My writing page! Please join! http://www.facebook.com/pages/Kat-aka-katrocks247-from-Wattpad/208740202517075
A Dash of Demise by poltergeist_people
poltergeist_people
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In the kingdom of Vanderdash, there is no more feared warriors than that of the Scarlet Guard. Protectors of the royal family, skilled assassins trained since childhood, They follow the crown, they enforce the crown. To many, the group cloaked in red is a greater symbol of the royal family's power than the kings crown itself. Citizens respect and fear the scarlet guard, the power they hold. But within the guard there is only one who installed that very same feeling into the rest. Head of the prince's royal guard, ruthless and cunning, rarely seen by the citizens themselves. They call her Red. An expert in poisons and deception, the small girl has brought armies to their knees without once lifting a blade. A vermillion haired monster hidden behind the face of a doll. ~~ I smiled up at the men, "Would you like a cookie?" They peered into the basket I held out, spotting the heart shaped treats. "They're cinnamon with apple Jam. I do promise they are to die for." The taller mans eyes narrowed, "did you give the poor fool dead on the road a cookie?" My lips parted, "a dead man? Oh my..do you think it is safe?" "..depends on who you are miss, why did you say you were in the woods again?" I smiled gently, "I didn't." He rose a brow. "I'm delivering these," I shook the basket a bit, "to my dearest grandmama." He hesitated for only a slight second, "oh. well. be careful then. These woods can be dangerous." I nodded once still holding out the basket, "so would you?" "Would we what?" I giggle a bit, "like a cookie silly." "Ah.." he scratched the back of his head, "sorry, I'm not too fond of apples." Damn it. I sighed softly, "strawberry next time then." "Right..." As I turned to go I looked up at the two tall men, "you be careful now too gentleman. There are wolves in these woods." They nodded rigidly as I spun and began to skip off, giggling to myself. He asked the wrong question. I didn't give the dead fool a cookie. I gave him two.
The Transient Wife by greenwriter
greenwriter
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One drunken day, Cassandra gets the proposal she can never refuse from the arrogant Philip Strindberg. Thrown into a marriage she never wanted in the first place, Cassandra will struggle on how to maintain her carefree attitude while trying to keep her cool whenever she is around her husband. Pranks, adventure, chores, and secrets will test their transient marriage. In the end, will there be a chance for their transient charade to become permanent?
The Good Girl's Bad Boys [Book One of TGGBB Series] (Completed, Editing) by RubixCube89201
RubixCube89201
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If you're judging this book by its cover and title, you're already proving the point this story wants to make. Try to move past this satirical obstacle in front of you. This is a story about bullying, and like the hundreds of other books on the topic, it will show you the harsh reality of being discriminated, belittled, ridiculed for something you cannot control- how you look, who you love, or what you believe in. But unlike these books, this story's sole purpose is not to tear your heart out of your chest as you mourn over your loss of faith in humanity. Instead, this book will make you laugh and love alongside these characters. Just like in life, there will be moments of dread and surrender, but there will also be moments of happiness, laughter, and love. - Naomi Lorraine, better known as Nerdy Naomi with her thick-rimmed glasses and straight-A report card, is the most unpopular girl in her school. Even with the help of her sarcastic comebacks, that doesn't stop her from getting bullied by everyone in Dartwell High. Every day her childhood bully, Raymond Meyers, knocks her off her feet, literally. However, she can't do anything but survive the laughs, insults, and bruises high school gives her. There are three senior transfer students, dubbed the Three Musketeers: Bennett Frazier, Jordan Wallace, and Declan Lynch. All in one day, Naomi catches their attention one by one. With her snarky attitude, but innocent look, they can't help but want her. But not the way you're thinking. Oh no, not like that. Instead, it's probably the whole opposite. It's quite simple really. She'll be their good girl. And they'll be her bad boys. ~ [This story is a first draft written by a 13 to 15-year-old girl so it has its fair share of grammar mistakes and plot holes.] Wattys 2015 Talk of the Town Award Second Place Story of 2015 Best Humor and Overall Points of The Fiction Awards 2016 Third in the Writers Awards 2016 Highest Ranks: #1 Humor, #1 Teen Fiction
You Are in Hell Boys ✔ by Nadineat2
Nadineat2
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[Book 2] Imagine this ~ You are walking down the street, holding a bag full of Oreos for your pregnant mom. Everything is peaceful until you are dragged into an old truck. You look up and see five good-looking guys staring at you. Remi Thea McKnight is a sixteen-year-old high school girl. She is sarcastic, funny, and sometimes wise, like her mother, Ariel. Remi has four older brothers, eighteen years old, and a quadruplet. Could history repeat itself? What would Remi do when she gets kidnapped like her mother? ~~~ [NOT EDITED YET] Book 1 - Welcome To Hell Boys. Book 2 - You are in Hell Boys. Book 3 - We'll End Up in Hell Boys. (Highest rank- #3 in Humor in 2017) June 2017 All Rights Reserved
Welcome to Hell Boys ✔ by Nadineat2
Nadineat2
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Highest rank - #1 in humor 28/9/2017 [Book 1] Imagine this ~ You think that you are sleeping in your comfortable bed, next to your three-year-old brother, but then you open your eyes to see three good-looking guys staring at you. The worst part is that you are in a moving car, laying on their laps. ××××× Ariel O'Connor is a sassy, sarcastic, funny, caring, and confident 19-year-old. What will happen when she wakes up in the wrong place in an unusual situation? What will she do? Here's a tip: Watch your language, and do not eat her Oreos. #Book 2: You Are In Hell Boys #Book 3: We'll End up in Hell Boys ××××× DO NOT STEAL ANYTHING FROM THIS BOOK! All Rights Reserved 2017
A Secret Service [NOW PUBLISHED] by joymoment
joymoment
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Now available in paperback! "I LOVE IT!" - CarniaHolmes "I'm going to break your nose, because I don't like your face," Carter said. She pointed to Zac. "I'm going to dislocate your other shoulder, just to make them even." She cocked her head and gave the main guy a sickly sweet smile. "I'm going to break your wrist, taking away your baseball career. And finally you, Finch," she said, looking to the last guy. "I'm going to bust your ankle because I don't like the way you walk." She slid her hands into her pockets. "Now, how does that sound to all of you? And please feel free to look amused, skeptical or patronizing at this point. I'll have all the more fun wiping the expressions off your faces." Carter Owens, daughter of a Secret Service agent, is trained to disassemble any weapon, any situation, and anyone. Her biting sarcasm and razor-sharp mind make her impossible to beat in a word fight and when talking doesn't work, she uses her fists. She attends Hamilton Prep, Washington D.C.'s most prestigious high school, where everyone is related to someone in power, except her. When Hamilton Prep receives a flood of new students, Carter's role as social outcast changes when she makes two unexpected friends. Friends who are hiding a secret. As Carter uncovers the truth, she confronts challenges she is unequipped to handle and finds herself in a dangerous situation. For a girl trained to see everything, Carter never saw this coming. "This is one of those books that seem like it won't be really good, but then it's mindblowing-ly amazing and then you're questioning life =)" - rwrites07 "#rr for like the 10th time haha love this book" - tahls16 "I loved this book, it wasn't cringey cliche or stupid. I normally hate third person books but I loved this and all the characters, especially carter." - lenathedov Editor's Choice Talk of The Town #1 Teen Fiction, #1 Fiction #1 Love #1 Completed #1 New Adult #1 Friendship #1 Funny #1 Drama
Wet by kobemiyako
kobemiyako
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Arielle Tesfaye's senior year immediately turns upside down the second she finds out about her switch to another swim team. Although the problem with this one particular swim team was not what she was expecting. What if this team was home to the 10 most popular, sexiest, charismatic, most talked about boys of Amphitrite High School?
Bite Me by MADcreations
MADcreations
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Living with a hot boy is fine. Living with five hot boys is hard. Living with five hot brothers is tough. Being captured by five hot vampire brothers takes the cake. Nora Holt is 24, just got out of college, and is in need of a car. She's the type of girl who doesn't take shit, and speaks her mind. If you mess with her, you're most likely going to end up somewhere in Mexico or being chased by hungry wolves. So when she's walking home at 1:30 am down an allyway, this can only lead to trouble. Lots of trouble. The next thing she knows, she's thrown into a world of a singing vampire, a crazy ex-boyfriend (who now she realizes is a vampire and is trying to kill her), and a house full of five hot vampires. How the hell does a girl handle a situation like this? She bites her way through it, of course. **Do not read if you cannot stand grammar errors and pretty much crappy writing. I need to edit this book drastically.**