They're worlds apart, and this isn't high school, so how the hell did a homeless female writer end up renting a billionaire's mansion? And - hold your breath - becoming his fake girlfriend? ➳ full blurb inside ➳ first reached #1 in humor on july 6, 2015 ➳ first reached #1 in business on august 29, 2023 ➳ winner of best humor book in the fiction awards 2016 ➳ featured by cadbury (marvellous creations) and secret lives of the americans (pivot) P.S. This is a SATIRICAL BILDUNGSROMAN. Proceed with caution. (cover by @glueeater)

THIS STORY IS DISCONTINUED. READ IF YOU WANT, BUT IT'S NOT FINISHED!!! "Welcome to your new life under my rule. It's my pleasure to make your life a living hell." {explicit content} [ cover made by @narrysnirvana ]

Liam Payne is just your average fire-fighter. Strictly devoted to his job and loves it. His life is busy... but eh. He loves not having distractions. But maybe girls setting their kitchens on fire just so the sexy fireman can arrive and put out 'their' fire... yeah, that's not so average. Now comes in Zayn Malik. He's your typical peeping tom, the typical loner, perverted guy, who you never ever want to be neighbours with. Ever. And when Zayn, during one of his usual afternoons (that consisted of casually stalking- er- observing his sexy curly-haired neighbour from the crack of his curtain) notices said neighbour's house catch on fire, he's a bit shaken, naturally. But oh boy, that shake was nothing. 'Cos when Zayn lays his eyes on the sinfully sexy fireman that gracefully jumps out of the red fire truck, amidst the chaos, his arm muscles rippling, and the sturdy white hose grasped tightly in his strong and agile hands... yeah. Zayn simply can't help but eye-rape the hand-crafted masterpiece of God. Zayn is literally shaken, and not in the bad way. And now... why the fuck is he having morbid thoughts of setting his house, and especially himself, on fire? (Mainly Ziam, with slight Narry/Nouis.) (Highest Ranking: Humor #56 and FanFiction #124 on 23 Feb 14) © Copyright: All rights reserved. || zarrycupcake

He said he was too broken to love her like she deserves. But perhaps, it doesn't really matter. © stormborns, 2014.

"You do realize a journal is an extremely personal thing right?" His voice was raspy, low and threatening, making me take a step back in panic as he continued, "so my only question is why the fuck are you standing with mine?" - first book - - instagram acc: @thejournalofficial - - for extra material: arietem.wix.com/arietemx - All Rights Reserved 2013 © arietem

“There are three types of people,” he murmurs while gazing at her. “Those who come face to face with death unintentionally, ones who don’t have any control over it, and ones that greet it with open arms blatantly, which is you, darling. And it’s a pity,” He crouches down in front of her and his filthy hands rest on her knees. “I’ll give you two options to choose from,” he says before faintly smiling. “You can either be the one to die or you can be the one to kill.”

The passionate story of Tessa and Hardin continues as family secrets, deep betrayals, and career opportunities threaten to tear them apart.