Highest Ranking: #1 in Humor [FEATURED, SEPT-OCT] An idealistic poet refuses to budge from the last parcel of land a developer needs to acquire in order to build a shopping mall. (Literary satire with pop culture references and environmental themes.) synopsis: The Myth of Wile E. is a riff on the modern obsession with fame and acclaim, as well as a mediation on the artist's place in the modern world, as seen through the eyes of a naive poet who is made simultaneously pathetic and heroic by the pursuit of a singular goal. In this novel, we meet an assortment of eccentric monomaniacs, from mushroom hunters in search of a legendary truffle, to birders pursuing a possibly-extinct bird, to competitive Duck Stamp artists, to "the World's Foremost Living Statue"...and even a very stubborn spider. Meanwhile, our narrator--a terrible, yet persistent, poet--battles a ruthless land developer who's determined to acquire the poet's humble property, in an escalating battle of wills that spirals out of control when the media gets involved. With these quirky events as a backdrop, we gradually learn of the misfortunes that befell each member of the poet's family in their various misguided quests for glory. We also learn why money makes the world go flat, why talent is a white elephant, and what it means for parents to love their children "to pieces." Some of my influences are Richard Brautigan (especially), Christopher Moore, Kurt Vonnegut, Tom Robbins, and George Saunders, so if you like any of them, I hope you'll enjoy this, too.

Can a natural killer learn to be human again? Regan's unique talent for murder makes her a perfect assassin. After a lethal encounter leaves her broken body washed up on a beach, she finds herself adopted by a group of teenage bodyguards. She doesn't intend to stay for long, but soon Regan finds herself faced with a choice: become a hero or stay a villain? *** The boy played with the flat brim of the cap in his hands and looked around the room. He sat back in his chair, trying to look casual, but the heel of his hi-top sneaker drummed rapidly on the concrete floor. Regan sat opposite him with her legs crossed and her hands folded on her tartan skirt. She watched him without a word and brushed a strand of blue-dyed hair behind her ear. Somehow this seemed to unsettle him more. 'Calm down,' she said. 'It's just murder.' *** Author's Note: Darkness Girl: Trickster God is represented by Louise Fury from The Bent Agency. P.S. The epic cover was made by Paul Kopetko (you can stalk him at paulkopetko.com). Enjoy!

PERSONAL ASSISTANT NEEDED. People skills optional. Ability to take drink orders preferred. Personal mode of transport a MUST. To Reply, Contact Dr. M's home office: 1-555-TRBLE-4-U (Idiots and those prone to knock-knock jokes need not apply.) ◎ ◎ ◎ Nobody in their right mind would respond to a help wanted listing so vague. Enter, Robin Banks. The wacky exploits of a narcoleptic super villain and his reluctant sidekick. [COMPLETED FIRST DRAFT - #22 in Humor on 4/12/15]